She moved her lover in

typical bird really, young bint with no idea about life, mate best thing to do , is to forget it, go through solicitiors to get access, as we all know that fathers have got no rights at all, and these "unfortunate" women (yeah right) shead a tear ...." oh look shes crying lets give her all she wants, wheres the dad....oh forget him, even tho hes tried his best, paid all he can, tried all he can, .....hes not worht it!!! WTF

been there done it got the tshirt mate

Get in the real world;
Thanks for that it made me laugh and that has'nt happened for a while I can tell you!!!
I cant believe the support out there from people ive not even met, there are some decent people left in the world! As for startine a business, well ive given that a lot of thought lately.

She will probably knock out a couple more kids to the new fella and then go on benefits expecting the rest of us to pick up the tab for her family and her cat. Dont get mad Dave, get even. Start up your own business and make lots of money, find yourself a beautiful woman who treats you like a God and buy yourself a better car than she has got (possibly a ferrari). Hopefully you will be able to do this just in time for christmas, that way you will be able to go on Moonpig and design her a christmas card with a picture of you sitting in your ferrari with your beautiful woman whilst sticking 2 fingers up to the camera.

Make sure you get your son back, not just rights to visit him. I know someone who has been paying his ex-wifes mortgage for years just to keep a roof over their daughters head as she has claimed she can't work due to depression, she was/is an awful woman too.

Ah, fifty one ways to leave your lover then?
I am sorry that you have been done over. Leave it to your solicitor for now then get even, not mad. As someone suggests below, don't show anything other than relief at getting out of this relationship. I can't comment about your child, these things can have a strange way of working out well in the end. As for the rest, well none of it matters.

Sounds like she is very immature and quite "selfish" in her approach to life. Many people seem to demand instant gratification these days - buy everything on credit, pay a hell of a lot of interest, rather than going without or saving up. Perhaps you should regard this as Fate (God?) or just plain old Luck being kind to you. It sounds like you are best out of it. As I said before, just stay focused on your son. However, from the financial mess she is getting herself into, I strongly suspect that there will be an element of 'blackmail' in your future dealings with her, in the sense that she will make your seeing your son conditional on some sort of cash handover.

As for the future, make sure you have learned lessons. I myself had a bad relationship years back, making the mistake of moving in with someone far too early. Never again! I suggest you take things real slow with a future partner. In my experience, not living together somehow maintains a 'vibrancy' and 'excitement' to a relationship. Don't be tempted to get another partner just so you can "get back at her". Speak to her politely but without emotion. I don't really want to advocate taking revenge, but again in my experience, showing complete 'indifference' is the absolute best way to have some element of satisfaction. Bloody hell, I sound like a right cynical old git . . . . oh well! Best of luck with it all.

Thanks Geoff and others, been thinking about it all today and have had very little sleep since this has happened but yours and other comments alike have been nice to recieve and do help!

Let her have her cat, her car, the debt, the worry and all the unhappiness that she no doubt has coming to her now. She doesn't sound grown up at all so you're well out of it now mate.

Many thanks for all your comments with the exception of "UR FAULT", very harsh in my opinion, learn what one really is?

Well the house is in both our names but her farther acted as guarantor to enable us to reduce the interest rate but I don’t know how she is going to do it with this new guy, I mean I brought in 75% of the income to the house and I really cant think he would want to start paying that straight away from no ties at all as he was living with his parents. He is more her age though at 19 and a gardener by trade, or so ive been told!

As a few have said without hearing both sides of the story you really cannot say or know who to fully believe. Her mothers side of the family are poisonous to the core her father isn’t a bad guy and I know him enough that it will take a while for him to come to accept this too as it is quite embarrassing for him and he would understand as her mother done similar thing to him but she became very poor while he became rich in a new business he started shortly after she left him. There is great bitterness there from her!, something I do recall though was shortly before Xmas my ex asked me if she could get a cat but im allergic so I really said no and she was very mad about that then asked me if we could get a car on finance and said no as money was very low. then xmas arrived and I had a card from her sister custom made on moon pig showing me with my bags packed walking away from the house and her waving holding a cat and the cat had its fingers stuck up??? Then two weeks later from splitting she got a car on finance and a kitten. The only thing she has'nt done yet is get pregnant as she asked me for that just one month before the split and I said we should settle in the new house first and find our feet as we had only been in it 6 months!

If ever there was a good reason for getting married and putting everything in joint names folks - this is it. NEWS FLASH - Common law does not exist. If you move in with a person and your name is not on the mortgage/rent book or deeds then that person can just ask you to leave and you must oblige. Even if you have lived in the house with them for 30 years. If you name aint on the docs then it aint yours! If your partner really loves you then they will make sure everything is in joint names and make sure there is provision made for all parties concerned in the event of either persons death. When you go home this evening, ask your partner if you are on the deeds/mortgage/rent book. If you are not then alarm bells should start ringing. If you are not, then ask why not?

Phone the Jeremy Kyle show and sort it out on TV.

If everything you say is true, you need to move on emotionally from her. She clearly is an awful, manipulative, shallow and just downright "ugly" to do what she has done. Your priority should be your son. When you speak to her or communicate with her in whatever way, try not to be emotional about what has happened with your relationship with her, but just emphasise that you want to see your son on a regular basis, that you have a right to be in his life too. The best approach would be to show complete 'indifference' to her and reserve all your emotion for your son.