Cheating husband left me broke
02-September-2010
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Cheating husband left me broke

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After being married for 28 years and standing by my ex husband when he went to prison for fraud, we eventually had a decent marriage and even renewed our vows on our 25th wedding anniversary.  We then relocated to Spain for his career in 1999.  In Spain our villa and utilities were paid for by his company.  He was working for an international bank and was country manager.  His salary was $8,000 per month net.  We employed a chauffeur and housekeeper and he told me that as I had worked and dedicated my life to him and our 2 children, it was now time for me to sit back, enjoy life and relax - he said we were on easy street.

Within one year I came back to the UK because he was having an affair (denied of course) with a Spainish girl who was 26 and younger than our 2 children.  My ex husband told me at the time I was imagining this affair and that I was mentally ill and menopausal.  He took me to the doctor and I was prescribed anti-depressants and told to see a psychotherapist.  All the while he convinced me I was sick.  After 2 months our daughter came over to Spain to see what was happening and he even ended up hitting her.  I was finally sent by him to a clinic in the UK for help.  I asked the psychiatrist for my clinical diagnosis and he said "I was anxious due to a major life change" and not crazy.  I returned to Spain, caught him out and when I eventually discovered his secret he battered me senseless.  I was so low that I even tried to end it all several times.

My ex husband took money from our savings - $120,000 and spent it on this girl.  I supported myself in Spain (credit card).  When I left my ex husband said he would look after me and pay the mortgage on the matrimonial home, give me an allowance and buy me a car.  He paid the mortgage and the allowance once and never bought me a car, he even cancelled BUPA.  I was paying £1,000 mortgage plus utilities and renting a car.  I was severely in debt.

The Court eventually awarded me £3,750 per month because of his non payment of mortgage and maintenance.  Did I get it - no!  He appears to be one of those people who just does what he wants and whilst he resided in Spain (pre-EU) he was able to get away with it.  He even came into Court and told the Judge that he gets paid in cash!!  Three weeks after our divorce in 2002 he married this girl in St Lucia in the Caribbean.  He had a vasectomy reversal, she had IVF treatment and now they have a child younger than his grandchildren.  I have now managed to get my life together.  I had to sell my home, (walked away with £30,000), sell my jewellery annd other assets just to get by.

A couple on the beach

When I contacted him via his company email I received a letter saying from his solicitors that I could go to prison for breaching a Consent Order.  He has treated me appallingly.  I am struggling to get my foot on the property ladder.  I bought a second hand Ford car and I work full time.

He and his wife have a villa, Mercedes cars and employer a chauffeur (she can't drive) nanny and housekeeper.  They fly business class all over the world and take 3/4 luxury holidays a year, skiing at Christmas in Switzerland etc.  They have a good lifestyle, expensive clothes and shoes, dine out regularly, private health-care and dentistry, she has beauty treatments and it may sound "sour grapes", but she has no lips and crossed eyes - her charms apparently lie in other areas.  My ex husband told me a couple of years ago that he had married a pretty woman once so he thought he would try it with an ugly one this time - what a charming man!!  Two ugly people inwardly and outwardly creating a baby; heaven help us all!  If you ever seem them - cross to the other side of the street, you can't be too careful.

By: Angela


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hAHAH I didn't read the story but this husband sounds like a real gent.. a real stand up guy.. haha I think he might be my idol.
*Murphy Taylor  08-Apr-2010 15:55

 
Omg ANGELA-well thats quite a history with that 'cheat'! my husband left me and his two children in Spain too- but with nothing. tho he told people he'd left us a villa, and i'd done him out of a quarter of a million etc!!! such lies- I was really singing for our money and stealing tiolet rolls!!! he's telling people we're divorced now but we are not. he's engaged and still lying and cheating---it all still affects me, still hurts but I am so so glad I'm not with him now-I dont want to live a life with a con man-'she' is welcome to him. he left us for dead almost. no 'care' whilst he was cruising with his hellen. 9 years of lies. how 'they' sleep at night?we were renting! we were hoping to buy and settle to a good life!!! I new nothing. we were happy I thought-still making love most nights!!! shocking...but hey she,s got nothing with that liar. I know much better now but I'd like people to know the truth.
*Elaine  26-Nov-2009 00:52

 
My heart goes out to you. It seems that men have too many choices now and can cheat more easily. I'm sorry you had to bear the brunt of his selfishness and it shoes what a waster he really is. You are better off without him. He's obviously a theif and a liar. It shows that he planned to have you put away - what a conniving, evil person. Could you not find a lawyer and sue him? He double crossed you by convincing you that you needed psychiatric help when it is apparent that he's the one with mental issues. He stole from you and your family. He sounds like a parasite.
*2bornot  13-Nov-2009 13:38

 
this is SO relevant to my family situation right now. Amazing. And I thought I was alone.
Can't give any advice : am simply amazed that you got awarded money for his non-payment of maintenance!
*feckless wreck  09-Nov-2009 15:30

 
Message for who cares
Grow up. You are a fool. This man treated this woman and her children like dirt.
You must be made of the same matter.
Go play in the traffic.
*I care  29-Mar-2009 14:33

 
You poor love. There are some horrid people in this world. I know how you feel ... they live and breathe lies. Mine thought he was some sex god - I pity the woman who ends up with him. When I find out - I'll dish all the dirt on him. You should fight to get this money back. Don't give up. He's a fool and one day he'll suffer.
*a supportive woman  29-Mar-2009 14:29

 
3 years ago I had a daughter, then another. I worked my butt off while he did whatever. Never paid for anything. I would cry and beg him to help. I bought him a business and he still did nothing, except cheating along with the emotional abuse. I asked him to leave and some time pass he got a job and we got back together. Well It didn't last long. He paid the house bills and I paid mortgage. When it came time for him to pay. We were homeless. He lied to the week it was due knowing I would have gone back to work if he couldn't pay. I had to sell our dog and our belongings. My middle child was hurt and he wont even talk to her about it. He wont help us cope. He said he didn't love me and went off. Pretty much his free ride was over. Well He hasn't paid anything yet. Although He let me put somethings in his name, because my credit is ruined, I pay them. My problem is he wants me to let him take the kids away on a trip and he wants to just disrupt our lives. My daughter has been though so much and he doesnt understand we all need time to heal. I let him visit for thanksgiving but, I would like a nice holiday with my children without the pain of him. I have 3 kids and the oldest knows what happened. My 2nd is a mess. The baby cant really understand. Do I have to let him, He tries to use that I am a christian and I have to forgive him, But I need time.
*A  17-Mar-2009 12:38

 
Let him keep the lavish lifestyle, the tart, and the kid who will barely be in primary school when his father gets his first zimmer frame. Let him get on with the fantasy world he's created for himself. You have what he doesn't. The respect of your children, your own self respect, and your independence. Take control of your life and make the very most of it. If you allow him to ruin it from afar, you've only yourself to blame. Work hard, play hard, enjoy your new start.
*A person  11-Feb-2009 14:01

 
Your experience sounds fairly similar to somebody else I know. But from experience I can tell you that life has a way of dealing with people like your husband.... Sooner or later.

Just leave them to it, the pair of pathetic cruel idiots. They are not worth your energy. Hard though it is, you must focus on rebuilding your own life and make the very most of it. You may find that your best times are yet to come. OK so you may not have their lavish lifestyle, but you have your self respect and dignity - things which your husband flushed down the toilet.
*A man  10-Feb-2009 17:24

 
hey get over It .and stop feeling jealous .that's all women do complain about there first marrage
so get on with your life and forget about It !
*who cares  08-Nov-2008 18:08

 
Hello my name is Elizabeth and I write for women's magazines. Your story is outrageous and I know the magazines would pay a great deal of money if you were prepared to share it.
My number is 01488686810 I would love to hear from you.
*Elizabeth  17-Sep-2008 15:46

 
If you would like someone GENUINE to talk with for harmony and (not wishy-washy) spiritual peace and guidance then you can write to me lovessence at aol dot com. I live in Kent.
*Dee  19-May-2008 05:11


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