Cyber affair wrecked my marriage

My husband met some old friends a few months ago. One female sent him an email that I found offensive. After many arguments I told him I wanted him to stop emailing her. we argued and he said they are just friends. HAHA> It bothers me bu I have more important things to worry about. If he wants her, good but it won't be cheap. I am still here.

Trodden on Wife: I know it must have been stressful to find this out, and very hurtful and disappointing. Lots of men use the internet to escape from their worries and cares, almost the way a child uses a video game and little more. I would express my disappointment, but I would quietly carry on with my life, finding people I could trust, including men friends and others who would be supportive and understanding of what you've been through. You deserve to have people in your life who will support you and love you, especially now. Don't waste your energy fighting with him. You are so much more important than this. Love yourself and take care of you through all this. Call your girlfriends and talk to them, go out and have a cry if you need to, and take positive steps for yourself. It is not a deficiency in you, it's one in him. Let him do exactly what he wants. Soon, without any intervention from you, he will see how hollow and meaningless this obsession really is about online flirting/women. Meanwhile, you'll be lightyears ahead because you'll have taken care of yourself, made real-life friends who love you for yourself, and have made positive changes for yourself. I wish you every good thing.

Walk away from him. Your love is one-sided. He wouldn't be looking for another woman if he was happy with you. He's happy that you know his dirty secrets and no matter what he does you'll forgive him. He found himself a doormat in you.

Leave him.

My husband has been chatting with other women on the internet using a false name. The thick ******* thought I wouldn'e find out! after 19 years he's ruined everything. Walk away, if they cheat once they'll do it again!!

I have had the same problem for many years. I have been with my partner for almost 9 years and he cant stay away from chat rooms. If it were just chat it wouldn't be so bad maybe, but It always ends up with him giving them his phone number, telling them he loves them etc etc. Its got to the point where I hardly dare go out and leave him alone, I'm suffering from panic attacks and depression, and I just wish he would tell me why I'm not enough for him. For the doubters out there I can tell you all he wants for nothing in any way at all, I'm certainly not prudish, and enjoy every part of our life together except for this nonsense! He knows nothing about these women and they wouldn't love him the way I do. In July we had a lovely holiday together, then when we got home I picked his phone up to find a text to some internet woman saying "missing you tonight" why?? why was he missing her?? He cant answer that question and we have had so many rows about it. I rang her and she wouldn't tell me much either, other than she thought he was single. I wish I could walk away, but I love him! I wish someone could help me, I feel as if I'm losing my mind.

My husband has given his email address and phone number to a girl at work.

My husband gave his personal details to someone at work, he says she's a friend but I've never heard of her. Then she sent him a message saying: "Hi ............, you haven't emailed me lately - I love you." I was bloody fuming. Is this an email from a friend someone I've never heard of. He quickly took the phone off me and deleted her details. In fact he ran upstairs with his mobile and deleted all his call history.

Different perspective. I asked my husband why he was looking and he couldn't give me an answer. It made me sick to the stomach to see the man I loved and thought loved and cared for me and our family could do this. What more could a woman do? I think you are wrong - I for one have always been there for my husband but he got hooked on a fantasy world and then started 'dating' refusing to acknowledge me, his wife and our child.

He will be back soon enough ,begging your forgiveness cyberspace is a dream world ,fortunately he will wake up to reality , be strong you can do much better ,he will be the loser.

I too have been 'cheated on' in cyberspace - the full extent of which I still don't know. I thought we had a good relationship but men will say one thing and then do another entirely. Run says it all about the meals and guilty flowers. Been there and done that.

The hardest bit is when every instinct you have is telling you it is going on but you can't prove it without being dragged down to their level and snooping. We should be able to trust them if indeed they are adults and not 14 year old boys looking for a thrill.

Seems to me that a lot of men in their 40's do this to feel better about themselves with the easiest ego stroke imaginable - delivered direct to their laptop or mobile phone.

I can't trust him anymore and am just waiting for 'next time' to happen - despite the protestations. If it was easier to leave then I would but lack of money etc. plays a part.

It is comforting in some way to know I am not the only one. I think they are making up for their sense of disappointment about themselves as if they say they are happy in their relationship then why else would they do this? Maybe most men just lie and cheat because it is all they know. Note I didn't say all men :)

Cheating is cheating however you frame it. They should get off their laptops and start putting effort in to their actual physical relationship instead. Maybe then they wouldn't feel so sad about their lives?

You all slate men for being unfaithful, perhaps you should be asking yourselves why they are unhappy with you!! Men are not born unfaithful, a happy man will not risk what he has for a fling. (Majority) So if he does it's because you are not making him 100% happy. Men haters really wind me up, women should look at themselves first.

You can check if your husband has been contacting women on the internet or vice versa on a site called catchemout.com. Easy.

Should these women who try break up marriages be publicly outed? My husband was emailed by a woman whose intention was clearly to break up our marriage. Like a lot of men, he was oblivious. She latched on to him and had to be pried off like a leech. I've read all the emails between them. There was no affair so please don't fall back on the old 'takes two to tango' stuff. I'm hacked that this predatory woman saw a life she wanted and proceeded to try to take it for herself. I suspect she does this on a regular basis. Should she be outed?