Ex-wife knows how to play the CSA
This is another gripe about those lovely people at the CSA. When my ex-wife and I split up, I moved in to rented accommodation and paid my ex-wife 500.00 per month. I continued this for the first year to help pay for my 2 children and to make sure they had a good home.
For most of the second year I paid 400 and then reduced it again to 220 as it was all I could afford at the time. I used the maintenance calculator from the CSA website to work out what I should pay. Once I moved in with my new partner I looked after looked after my daughter 7 days every 2 weeks (my elder daughter was 19 by this time).
My ex-wife contacted the CSA who then sent me a letter to tell me that our situation was shared care and it might take some time for them to come to an agreement regarding how much I should pay. Although I have paid for clothes, school trips, decorating, TV and DVD for her bedroom, I was still expected to pay my ex-wife.
Once she realised that the money she was receiving from me might be reduced, she stopped me seeing my daughter as much and cut it down to 5 days every 2 weeks. It then took just 3 weeks for the CSA to decide I should pay 187 per month plus 5 months backlog.
So at any point my ex-wife could reduce the time I spend with my daughter and get more money, so I loose out on both accounts. The way the CSA handle these situations is a joke with no regard for the fathers situation or feelings.
I feel that I am forced to pay my ex-wife money for her to use on anything, and at the same time I have my daughter and also spend a lot of money looking after her. What do if I can't afford to pay? This month my outgoings are more than I get paid!
By: CSA Sufferer
Comments from visitors
I think what your ex wife/girlfriends are doing is disgusting! and what CSA are doing is even worst! I went through the same thing when my husband met me his ex got jealous but we didn't pay through CSA at that time we paid her cash but then She stopped my husband seeing his son and contacted CSA! The amount was stupid because they backdated for like 10months or something and they didnt care if we couldnt afford it we ended up losing our house, our life and my husband lost his son! CSA really need to sort it out because i think women and men have equal rights! and women who play god with their child dont deserve to be a mother!!!!!
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Don't get me started on the CSA and rediculous ex wifes. My ex earns 40k plus, her fella 25k and I have to pay 500 a month through the csa. I have 3 years of bank statements to prove Ive always provided for them, csa dont care about that. Nor do they take into account the fact that my ex ran off with the kids lsat sept and she still wont declare where she lives, so as a result i have no contact "apparently thats my problem" so for the privilige i pay the maximum amount which leaves me barely able to live, let alone take her to court. Oh yes but if i sit on my fat backside all day and claim benefits it would be paid for. Ive nagged the life out of the police and social services and diarised every bit of contact with them and there response. Ive basically been told she doesnt want me to know where she is so tough, oh and i wrote to my local MP Marc Tami who took around 8 weeks to even reply and then it was his secretary who fobbed me off. What is going on in this country where the women have all the rights and the money, ive seen my kids and they dont even want to live with the ex they want to live with me but as they are 5 and 6, thats her decision too. Again if i dont go out and work my regular 60 hour week, if i sit on my butt, id get a house, benefits oh and my court fees paid. IF I bust a gut for my 40k, i get screwed by my ex who doesnt even need the money and cant then afford court fees and a roof over my head, in the end it all got too much and on april 15th i tried something silly. What is wrong with this country??
+2
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I've watched my son unable to feed himself pay his mortgage on anti depressants to get him through life. He sometimes cycles the 60 miles round trip to work and back, and yet his ex lives the high life, wine every night, baccy, pedigree dog etc.
My ex-husband and myself buy most of the clothes for the children and school shoes. She won't sign the form to say my son visited them, a trip of 400 miles, as she knows that money will be deducted from the CSA amount she receives.
I feel its is high time the fathers were brought in to the equation instead of just cash cows. There should be either a body to check where the money is going or more checks by CSA. Even the schools seem to put fathers on the back burner. When my son has rang just to see how they were progressing I get a phone call from his ex blustering about him ringing the school! In this day and age of separation surely there should be something less dictatorial then the present system?
I know that it could be difficult, but how many men are out there struggling through life and let's face it, we only have one of those. It breaks my heart to see my son with no sign of life getting better, and no hope of another relationship with this burden over him.
My ex-husband and myself buy most of the clothes for the children and school shoes. She won't sign the form to say my son visited them, a trip of 400 miles, as she knows that money will be deducted from the CSA amount she receives.
I feel its is high time the fathers were brought in to the equation instead of just cash cows. There should be either a body to check where the money is going or more checks by CSA. Even the schools seem to put fathers on the back burner. When my son has rang just to see how they were progressing I get a phone call from his ex blustering about him ringing the school! In this day and age of separation surely there should be something less dictatorial then the present system?
I know that it could be difficult, but how many men are out there struggling through life and let's face it, we only have one of those. It breaks my heart to see my son with no sign of life getting better, and no hope of another relationship with this burden over him.
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Frustrated Gran - 18-Sep-11 13:45
I have been paying my ex £400 per month for my 3 year old daughter. I get a letter from the csa telling me they are taking £750 per month for 6 months for "backdated" payments. I have obviously been paying internet banking so have a record for EVERY payment. So I send these to the CSA then they tell me I have to still pay. Why? Get this its brilliant. My ex told them it was "Payment for a loan"!!! Criminal Service Agency.....
+6
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letter from csa you will be paying xamount this month xamaont next month and xamoumt following month. ring csa and tell them son is 19 in july csa say its computerised and that they cannot change it.. programe is only as good as the people who do the programme ... get told to call back day after his 19 th birthday so that they can look into it and change it manualy .what aload of bull they shudnt send the letters out if they are not correct ...
+4
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QUESTION ? 2 children go to collage one is 17 and 1 is 18 17 yearold is staying on at collage 18 year old is at collage but decides to quit and train to be a mma cage fighter.will you stll have to pay because he is not in full time education .... answer is yes because csa cannot be bothered to look into it ...
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the csa have a duty of care not just for the mother but for the father aswell they both produce the children whilst they were together..so why dont the csa look after the farthers in this situation ??? the farthers who are willing to pay and dont get chased are the farthers who loose out in the long run .. as I said before DUTY OF CARE FOR BOTH PARTIES
+2
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'tankslapper' are u staying with parents? If so play the ho at her own game! Take the kids off her and let the csa know they are now with u! Women everywere are doing this so why cant men play dirty too? By the time she files for full custody the kids will be settled with u and a judge will say its best the kuds stay with you- you get a nice chunk of her wage to go with it!
+8
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Vicious circle, After being together for 19/half years and married for 18 I found that my wife was having an affair made easy by her job working away nationally up to 4 nights a week and whilst I worked a 24/7 shift pattern child care was shared mainly between her mother and I. She was all full of herself and demonstrated no remorse, I found that the affair was continuing so after 4 months I left. She was unconcerned at my departure and then when the Decree Nisi landed on her door mat for adultery stigmatising her she came back at me with venom in the form of CSA. At that point I couldnt afford to rent anymore so I took up lodgings living in a bedroom, great after having a big house with a double garage. I dont mind paying for my children however I feel the way it is calculated is wrong. I pay £410 per month whilst my EX earns over 60k per year and including her CSA, family allowance, business expenses hotels and fuel she has £3900-£4200 per month to spend when Im left with £1400. We are still in divorce proceedings, I have no money to buy a place therefore I cant have my kids overnight which she uses against me so I rely on Sundays to take them out which is often an extra £150 per month. In my opinion she dosnt neet the CSA payment which is roughly the same as the repayment on her sports car. I could do with that money to purchase a suitable home to accomodate my children. Why do the CSA punish the non residential parent who have good intentions? Surely the CSA could evaluate her financial circumstances and make it a little fairer for the children and I.
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csa is not all for women, I m woman myself, my 2 children went to live with him, and now he wants money out of me, even thou we come to a agreement that I give me money plus buy the kids clothes and toys, which I did he still took me to the csa claiming that I have not given him nothing, and now the csa is on my case for 3000.pound in debt plus payments, I have refused to pay that money plus the monthly payments due to him stopping me from seeing my kids over 3 years ago, but still he wants money.
why sould I pay it?? its not fair and yes the csa is a big joke
why sould I pay it?? its not fair and yes the csa is a big joke
+10
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'woo' ive read alot on the sites about your situation. Try hassling the csa to investigate a 'lifestyle inconsistant with earnings' on your wife! You may have to gather evidance yourself but the csa should take this into account.
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Bugatti bird I shouldnt say this on a public site but from stories ive read, if your hubby goes limited then he can reduce the payments by paying himself less on paper- I shouldnt say that but you sound genuine. Also im curious to know if its possible to revert back to case 1? Im on case 2 and my ex is being a real pain!! What are the t&c's of case 1?
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I am also very confused with it all..My husband is going through the same situation with his ex...she is a monster!
Ive had enough, shes trying to claim csa for their 2 children but refuses to let the stop over in our small bungalow.we have 1 child together also..we used to have the children 4 nights a week, untill the ex wanted more csa, so she stopped them coming permanently!
we were still paying astronomical amounts of money to the csa...totally wrong!
As my husband is self-employed it still does not go in our favour, so we are contemplating him goin limited to reduce the payments..anyone know anymore further?any experience would be helpful?
she works and has just had a new baby, she also due to marry this year and her new fella lives with her...she has also just had a new loft conversion!!!
can we ask for the new case 2 to be reverted back to case 1 so that her fellas income is taken into consideration as his is considerably more?? I dont care if mine is taken into account too..we've had enough!!!
Even though we have got receipts of payments made to her direct and payments of school dinners tht we pay, and uniform, clothing etc, the csa dont want to know...confusing!!!
Ive had enough, shes trying to claim csa for their 2 children but refuses to let the stop over in our small bungalow.we have 1 child together also..we used to have the children 4 nights a week, untill the ex wanted more csa, so she stopped them coming permanently!
we were still paying astronomical amounts of money to the csa...totally wrong!
As my husband is self-employed it still does not go in our favour, so we are contemplating him goin limited to reduce the payments..anyone know anymore further?any experience would be helpful?
she works and has just had a new baby, she also due to marry this year and her new fella lives with her...she has also just had a new loft conversion!!!
can we ask for the new case 2 to be reverted back to case 1 so that her fellas income is taken into consideration as his is considerably more?? I dont care if mine is taken into account too..we've had enough!!!
Even though we have got receipts of payments made to her direct and payments of school dinners tht we pay, and uniform, clothing etc, the csa dont want to know...confusing!!!
+4
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bugatti bird - 25-Mar-11 14:01
CSA are a joke my ex wife left me and my 6 year old daughter in debt we had to sell the house to pay her debts. she is self employed and works for her mum for the year 2009 to 2010 I was still with her, this year she put her tax form in stating she was earning £5000 a year I know this is untrue as her wages went int my account in cash I have told the CSA they told me they go on what she has put down on the tax form so we are going to get £10 per week in maintance before her tax form came out in feb this year she was paying £230 per month I told the CSA and said nothing they can do its a joke
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Just to add too I always end up buying things for my daughter because her mother carnt afford it!! So where are my payments been spent!!!
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Csa is a joke - 8-Mar-11 17:46
Seems like am not the only one been shafted by the csa then.... I recently won shared care of my daughter and her mother went stright to the csa so not only can I not afford my own place to live but still paying off the huge debt she left me with whilst paying all my bills looks lime a second job for me!!! When will the system realise that there are fathers out there like myself and most of the others that have posted on here and give us a fair payment option!!! But thanks csa its nice to know that my payments have just bought my ex's new partner a new van!!
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Csa is a joke - 8-Mar-11 17:43
I feel for you I really do,my 14 yr old lives with me so im a one parent family my ex wife lives with her boyfriend and has my youngest son she still claims 159 pound a month from me,so I claimed off of her she is self employed and only pays 20 pound a month there is no justice in the CSA its all for the woman does not matter about the father,fathers are worthless except for the money they are worth.my ex wife is laughing all the way to the bank.
at least I can hold my head up and say I wasnt the one who broke the family up and had the affair. all the best to you sir.
at least I can hold my head up and say I wasnt the one who broke the family up and had the affair. all the best to you sir.
+8
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My ex over claimed £7,000 in tax credits? Where I come from that is called fraud. However, our great country allows her to pay back a bit at a time, whereas I get 'shafted' for £6,500 with threats galore.
Nice to be a part of a democratic country with equality!
Nice to be a part of a democratic country with equality!
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Rippedoffdad - 21-Feb-11 13:20
I was a single mother for 14 years. My sons father had another child and never bother with my child. My child would visit his fathers mother at weekend but his dad rarely made the effort to see him. When my son turned 13 he never even called him on his birthday. I finally had enough and went to CSA. He told me he would give up his job and did so. When my son turned 14 and was getting into trouble he decided he wanted to live with his father who had been in and out of prison and acepted my son's bad behaviour. He went to the CSA staright away and is now laughing at the systems. He don't work but with benefits and CSA he has more income than me and don't pay rent or council. When I asked my son why he does not come and stay with me he says the woman from the csa told his dad that if he says with me they will cut the payments. My son always wanted to be accepted by his dad, but now his dad is just using him to claim benefits. I agree I should pay for my son, but he should not then get benefits as well. Thats why the country is in the state that it is. Why don't the CSA ask him to for the 14 years when all I asked for him to do ws call his son on xmas day and on his birthday,, but they are not interested. The thing about it the money is not going on my son.
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mother's get screwed too - 5-Feb-11 20:35
Mr Tibbs,thanks very much for your advise,i will write to csa for account breakdown, get the ball rolling and try to sort this out .Thanks again.
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