Breaking away from a violent relationship

Ash

CSA money is not TAX payers money as you think, it's money from the PARTNER.

While I'm at it, it's NOT a crime to live on benefits, while your working, you pay tax and insurance, it's this money your claiming back.

If it get the person out of a violent relationship, AND keeps a roof over her head, the so-be -it.

The priority is to keep a ROOF over your heads, at least she'll have it PAID for whilst it's all sorted out.

I've been through one of these relationships, and beleive me, looking after number one is a BIG priority.

Work can wait until it's sorted out.

What a good idea! Give up your job and claim benefits. Let the tax payers pay for you!! Particularly liked the part about the CSA giving you the money first... more tax payers money! Hell, I wish I could give up work and live off dole money. If you had the courage and dignity to leave a violent relationship why degrade yourself to live on state hand-outs?? Do you not have friends or family you and your kids can go and stay with while this is all sorted out??

Bloody hell! What a situation. I wish you all the best and hope that some good can finally come out of it. I know the kids have to come first and that the immediate priority is ensuring that they have a roof over their heads. However, at the same time, you must learn some fundamental lessons from this and ensure that you do not enter into another abusive relationship in the future. You have to think of yourself and your sense of pride and self-worth - although the fact that you left your husband and was prepared to argue your case in court says that you have a great deal going for you. The finances are very important but giving up your job may result in giving up a lot of important social networks, as well as sources of emotional release that work colleagues (some of whom, very occasionally in my experience, can eventually become categorised as 'friends) can provide.

Try and stay positive and congratulate yourself on your absolute refusal to stay in a violent, abusive relationship. The future will open up further opportunities for a person like you - you wouldn't allow it to do anything but . . . good luck!

I would like to hear his side of the story. Two sides to every coin.

Do it, give up your job, at least you WILL have somewhere to live and have the council tax and your home, PAID FOR. As it is now, if anything happens, you LOOSE the lot.

I've been in the same situation, and believe me,it's a CRUEL world out there. Don't believe the do-gooders, they haven't had to skrimp and scrape a living on SCRAPS.

Take some legal advice on this bankruptcy thing, and I'm sure you can block it, if he HAS money.

Don't just sit their, give up the job, and protect your roof. When it's all settled down, you can resume work again, but until that day comes, look after yourself and the kids.

Very good luck

Giving up your job would be bad. If the father so chose, he could then claim that you couldnt support the children yourself, and have them taken away from you.
Also, benefits should be there for people who need them, not for people who are so annoyed with the system they dont want to work anymore.

I sympathise with your situation utterly, I feel very sad for you and how hard you're struggling. I guess all you can do is stop waiting for morons at the CSA to help you out and instead keep your job and carry on fighting the world. Your kids will respect you for it.

What a parasite! I applaud you for standing on your own feet. Don't quit the job in favour of benefits, that just means someone else has to work to pay for you - that's his sort of solution. Bankrupt indeed. He could have had the decency to sign the house over to you first.