A bad mannered eavesdropper

If there’s one thing that I find really annoying, it’s bad mannered people who eavesdrop on a private conversation and then butt in at the most inappropriate time with some stupid comment. They weren’t part of the discussion, so why then did they feel the need to interrupt when they don’t even know what they are talking about?

For example, a friend of mine was talking to me and he began to ask a fairly technical question. I was waiting patiently for my friend to finish before asking for more detail, however this ignorant individual listening to the conversation decided to chip in and give the obvious (and silly) answer. This wasn’t what my friend wanted to hear as he already knew THAT answer!

Rude people who butt in on a conversation

My friend had asked me, “How do you connect to the mains?” Of course the idiots answer would be “Easy, plug the mains lead in”. But the question was more to do with wiring and circuits connected to the mains box, not a simple plug and socket. He had wanted a detailed and technical answer, but this bad mannered eavesdropper who wasn’t part of the discussion, decided to cut the question short to fuel his own ego.

Of course when this rude person realised it was beyond his level of understanding and he had made a complete fool out of himself, he looked like he was ready to blow a fuse himself!

Why don’t bad mannered eavesdroppers wait until they are asked, or at least until the people in conversation have finished speaking? This to me is a sign of an inner weakness. They need to be seen looking good by overcoming a challenge and answering the question, but all they are really doing is being foolish and opportunistic by blurting out the obvious answer.

Perhaps they should have been better educated during their schooldays.

By: J2R

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Personally, I don't think it's a big deal. As someone has already said here, the people who 'butt in' are usually just trying to help and be friendly. OK, so they may get it wrong sometimes, but there are far worse crimes than trying to be helpful!

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Rita - 10-Oct-08 21:15

My father was a Law Professor at the University of Utah. He remarried and his second wife's name is Mary Lou Godbe. She is an eavesdropper and I can't stand the sight of her. I am in the music business and instead of making sounds that are acceptable to an FM rock radio station station, Mary Lou makes sick grunts and talks filthy about her commode. The eavesdropping device is really far to loud to be heard comfortably. I believe I can hear it because Ms. Godbe used my home to do legal work and did connect the suspect device to my personal phone line. I saw the device when it was purchased and understand that it is common for the court to approve of an attorney eavesdropping. However Mary Lou Godbe is no longer an attorney in the State of Utah and is drunken every single day. The Salt Lake Courts appointed this person as my guardian and expected her to be reasonable about paying for me. She did not pay and had me jailed and sent to the hospital for getiing too familiar with her. The Salt Lake Police told me it was unreasonable to take action against Ms. Godbe and the Salt Lake Third District Court told me to stay away from her home permanently. I expected her to recieve news about her dirty deed from Her Majesty and Led Zeppelin, for instance, but it never did and I expect to be found mentally retarded by practically every individual.

-3

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Michael William Andersen - 3-Oct-08 15:23

That sounds familiar. Are you still in one piece out there?

-1

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Coogles - 22-Aug-08 10:55

I've just read the response from "fm-usa", who is of course american. This is going slightly off topic, but this guy's posting illustrates absolutely perfectly the difference between americans and us brits. I found it extremely interesting, and explains to me even more why I find americans so delightful. Thanks, fm-usa, if you read this !

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Nikki - 12-Jun-08 09:46

I printed out J2R's gripe and left it on a co-worker's desk. An occasional eaves-drop does not bother me, but I have a co-worker who has made a career out of it. He even interrupts me when I am on a phone conversation to offer tidbits of info he thinks the person on the other end of the phone needs! He can't even hear the other person, yet he thinks he knows what they need! Talk about the epitome of self-grandiose behavior. He once argued with me after I got off a call. He asked, "Were you talking about a Catholic Mass?" I said, "No." He then said, "I know you said something about a Catholic Mass, do you need to find a church?" I said, "No, I was not talking about a Catholic Mass." Then says, "I know you said something about a Catholic Mass-- I know a good website to find mass times." And on and on...

Repeat this scenario several times a day, and it starts to get annoying.

He also once sent an e-mail after a phone conversation I had. I was talking to a lower-level co-worker on the phone about an issue in his department. The eavesdropper then immediately sent an e-mail to my boss about the lower-level worker's issue. The e-mail was written as if the eavesdropper had witnessed the issue himself, when in fact I had witnessed the issue and already rectified the situation with the lower level worker himself. The eavesdropper was trying to score points with the boss. This is just plain annoying an irritating.

-1

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Jamie - 7-Nov-07 17:19

A while ago I was in a resturant, talking with a friend about children and the upcoming birth of my child (being heavily pregnant is something that solicits advice from randome people anyway). Someone at a table behind us came over to our table and gave us HIS views on how I should give birth after hearing me discuss it with my friend. He said that he has a few kids and really knows 'all about this baby stuff'' and that I was making bad choices. First, I didn't let it bother me because my husband and I are confident in our choices, but what a personal thing to butt into. The man didn't look the sort you'd want to take child rearing advice from anyway. Then as he was leaving, he reached over and RUBBED MY BELLY, brushing against my breast as he removed his hand. In shock, I said (rather loudly) 'don't touch me!' and the whole resturant looked and he reddened accordingly. The manager came over and asked him to leave and I got free pudding. So I suppose its not all bad.

-3

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Mrs. A. - 5-Nov-07 14:02

To alaneroberts I say:
I think you if you asked the "butt-inner" why they did it, they quite probably would claim "a desire to 'help' one of their fellow human beings and (be) socially interactive."

However I see this in the same category as unsolicited advice from a stranger. The answer may be right, and the advice might even be really good, but the manner in which it is offered usually dilutes the message and reflects poorly on the social awareness of the stranger.

-4

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WorkInAmericanCubicle - 19-Sep-07 20:38

I agree with you. I had a similar experience today, and feel the same things.

I had a colleague come to my cube today to ask a travel question, and before he could finish asking me the question, the guy in the cubicle next to me got up, butted in, and answered it. It was a travel question, and the colleague had spent 1 week in the country-in-question, while I had spent 5 months. I thought it was extremely rude, and while eavesdropping in a cubicle environment is unavoidable, (and perhaps even by design), jumping into it in such a manner is offensive

.

-4

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WorkInAmericanCublicle - 19-Sep-07 20:32

So? Why don't you slower your voice. I'm sick of loud-mouthed people talking in public. If you want a private conversation, turn down the volume. Easy really, but expect you're too busy sounding off.

-2

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Plato - 7-Sep-07 00:45

Having travelled to America recently, it is pretty much impossible NOT to eavesdrop. Americans are so incredibly LOUD when having a conversation. However, they are a great people having said that!

Humans are social animals and, in certain circumstances, it is quite natural to eavesdrop. Instead of viewing this in such a negative sense, the initiator of this topic may be better to view someone "butting-in" as a desire to 'help' one of their fellow human beings and socially interactive.

J2R, you need to lighten up a bit.

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alaneroberts - 15-Aug-07 17:17

RuuuEUuude, yes, but there are many people these days that are very-very... very lonely. And there those who are just plain dumb. As it is these days (in America) it's not English anymore so the few who can jump into another conversation will at the expense of idiotisy just to say hi.

You'll never know when or where you'll meet a true level-headed scientist, I did, & in a bar. Hours & hours & more hrs. we talked. We ended up on quantum physics & what light waves energy is, his specialties. I gave him a few things to think about... and I'm just a painter at high school level! Yes they were realistic thoughts, not like that "opportunistic blurting" person.

But then,... you'll never know if you keep quiet.

Have fun people... life is shorter than you think.

-1

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fm-usa - 11-Aug-07 06:29

It was silly of the person to give such a dumb answer,yeah, but if you were talking in a group of people perhaps the rude person didnt realise it was a conversation limited to just the two of you?
If you're in a group of people isnt it normally assumed that anyone can join the conversation at any point?

-3

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yoyo - 6-Aug-07 22:40

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