I am deaf you know, not stupid!
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I have just started a course as a mature student. To assist me I have a note taker and communication support worker, so people will often see them with me in class and are put off, almost afraid of approaching me. It’s driving me mad. Shall I sit there not knowing what I am doing with no support in class and pretend I’m like everyone else and pretend I am not deaf? Surely it makes more sense to follow the work effectively with support? It doesn’t mean I am not approachable though. |
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Okay, that’s one issue, but there are people who go to the opposite extreme. They approach you and then talk really slowly stretching the mouth making it more difficult to lip read, either that or they will shout - distorting their lip patterns, again this makes it difficult to lip read. I’m deaf you know, not stupid so just talk normally or just a little bit slower. Although you are left feeling like you want to punch them for their ignorance, they are at least trying to communicate. I just wish people were more deaf aware. Hearings aids do NOT restore perfect hearing, they simply amplify everything, which is a real pain in noisy places. |
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OK, so a quick lesson in deaf awareness over, although to be honest I could go on about various issues faced by deaf people. For example, the doctors surgeries that call your name by tannoy when you specifically asked receptionist to let you know in person, schools and companies that persistently phone my mobile when I have asked that they txt me, Audiology departments that should know better sending appointments which say “If you cant attend, phone us” (what about a minicom or email?) and finally rude people who think its funny and clever saying “What? What?” to me! Right feel better now - till the next time… By: Flower |
Comments from visitors
Ah yes, the witty and original 'What? What? What?' shouted loudly at you if you say you have deadness (I am only partially deaf). Gosh, not heard that one before. Ooh, you are a card. How smart and intelligent you must be to come up with that. It must have taken you ages to think about that one.
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Sarah,
they may not say that but they patronise blind people in other ways such as when a blind person hands over money in a shop the assistant tries to give the change to their companion.
People are also stunned if a blind person with a guide dog gives them directions for how to get somewhere. How do they think a blind person gets around on their own if they cannot give the dog directions? ( I am speaking of an area they are familiar with of course).
I do sympathise as I have a friend who is deaf and know how impatient people can be.
they may not say that but they patronise blind people in other ways such as when a blind person hands over money in a shop the assistant tries to give the change to their companion.
People are also stunned if a blind person with a guide dog gives them directions for how to get somewhere. How do they think a blind person gets around on their own if they cannot give the dog directions? ( I am speaking of an area they are familiar with of course).
I do sympathise as I have a friend who is deaf and know how impatient people can be.
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Hi...I understand how you feel! I have an 80% hearing loss and get really fed up with people, who once they learn this, start talking to me slowly! The thing is they look stupid themselves! People who start to shout out a conversation annoy me too! I can lip-read, and it doesn't matter how loud or quietly a person speaks, if I can see their face when they are talking, I can read their lips and know what they are saying! People tend to treat people in wheelchairs in a similar way, but addressing the conversation towards the person who is pushing the wheelchair rather than the person in the wheelchair, as if the loss of use of their legs affects the use of their brain and tongue! Another bug-bear is when people ask you something and you ask them to repeat it...you didn't catch it the second time and ask them to repeat it again. Then they say 'never mind!'...would you tell a blind person never mind if they asked you what everybody was looking at?
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Sarah Pringle - 7-Oct-10 10:33
Hi John,
"Hearing Concern Link" have a range of different badges that identify the wearer as deaf. Some people find them useful but others feel that they make them appear vulnerable.
I'm so sorry that your hearing in your good ear is worsening; I know from having a friend with a hearing loss how frightening and isolating losing your hearing can be. Hearing Concern Link also have a "how can we help you page" that might offer you something useful and the National Association of Deafened People might be of interest to you as it is for people like you who have lost hearing in adulthood rather than being a born deaf sign language user.
All the best.
http://www.hearingconcernlink.org/shop/merchandisewy.php
http://www.nadp.org.uk/wher.htm
"Hearing Concern Link" have a range of different badges that identify the wearer as deaf. Some people find them useful but others feel that they make them appear vulnerable.
I'm so sorry that your hearing in your good ear is worsening; I know from having a friend with a hearing loss how frightening and isolating losing your hearing can be. Hearing Concern Link also have a "how can we help you page" that might offer you something useful and the National Association of Deafened People might be of interest to you as it is for people like you who have lost hearing in adulthood rather than being a born deaf sign language user.
All the best.
http://www.hearingconcernlink.org/shop/merchandisewy.php
http://www.nadp.org.uk/wher.htm
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Wonder if someone could tell me where I can purchase a "Deaf Badge" - I tried Google for one but didn't have much luck.
I am deaf completely in my right ear - and all of a sudden I find my left "Good ear" is getting worse.
I'm trying my best to put on a brave face - I'm waiting for some lip reading lessons. I'm getting depressed .....
Be nice to hear from anyone who just wants to chat a bit.
John in Cornwall aged 67
J.Hurkett@btinternet.com
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I am deaf completely in my right ear - and all of a sudden I find my left "Good ear" is getting worse.
I'm trying my best to put on a brave face - I'm waiting for some lip reading lessons. I'm getting depressed .....
Be nice to hear from anyone who just wants to chat a bit.
John in Cornwall aged 67
J.Hurkett@btinternet.com
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John in Cornwall - 25-Sep-10 20:39
"I know, I know"
Have you considered learning British Sign Language and joining your local deaf club? There is a club in most towns and cities.
Have you considered learning British Sign Language and joining your local deaf club? There is a club in most towns and cities.
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Flower, I understand so much. I am almost deaf and it has impacted my whole life very negatively. I quit going to classes, quit trying to have friends, don't even go out alone much. I wish people would quit trying to fix me or get me help or tell me hearing aids will help (they didn't and won't) and would just accept me or smile at me and like you say, write a note if I don't get it. I wish you love and happiness. I am glad I'm not the only one. I wish I knew you in real life. :\
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I know, I know <3 - 27-Apr-10 15:58
Hi Zena
I think you are wrong, there is no such thing as 'bad publicity' also highlighting that there are those of us who recognise the perennial misconception that deaf people find from others, is a benefit to those in the community that are deaf. Hiding behind political correctness and refusing to tell 'jokes' that are hundreds of years old is not the way forward. The point of my proposed 'campaign' is to examplify that the 'stupid' are those who think that people who don't react to a sudden noise or warning sound are stupid. I'll run this past my chum who has been profoundly deaf since birth, he's heard them all, oops am I not supposed to write that? "I see I see said the blind man but he couldn't see at all". Have a nice day.
I think you are wrong, there is no such thing as 'bad publicity' also highlighting that there are those of us who recognise the perennial misconception that deaf people find from others, is a benefit to those in the community that are deaf. Hiding behind political correctness and refusing to tell 'jokes' that are hundreds of years old is not the way forward. The point of my proposed 'campaign' is to examplify that the 'stupid' are those who think that people who don't react to a sudden noise or warning sound are stupid. I'll run this past my chum who has been profoundly deaf since birth, he's heard them all, oops am I not supposed to write that? "I see I see said the blind man but he couldn't see at all". Have a nice day.
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Neil Purssey - 15-Feb-10 09:23
Hi Neil,
I have a number of deaf and also hard of hearing friends and all of them would find your idea of “are you deaf stupid” a really offensive idea. For generations deafness has been linked with the idea of that person being stupid. There are countless “jokes” along those lines that go back two hundred years or more. They are not funny. There are still people who refer to those with a hearing loss as “deaf and dumb”.. with the emphasis being on the “dumb/stupid” idea rather than any reference at all to lack of speech.
Deaf and hard of hearing people have campaigned for years to get away from any such link with “stupidity” in the way that you are proposing. They are more than tired of being shouted out and treated like morons simply because they cannot hear normally.
Your team is right…. This is a very “dumb” idea and demonstrates a very poor understanding of what it is like to be deaf in our society where people are refused jobs and opportunities on a daily basis simply because so many people wrongly view them as stupid purely because of their hearing loss.
It would also be great way to lose a great many customers!!!!
I have a number of deaf and also hard of hearing friends and all of them would find your idea of “are you deaf stupid” a really offensive idea. For generations deafness has been linked with the idea of that person being stupid. There are countless “jokes” along those lines that go back two hundred years or more. They are not funny. There are still people who refer to those with a hearing loss as “deaf and dumb”.. with the emphasis being on the “dumb/stupid” idea rather than any reference at all to lack of speech.
Deaf and hard of hearing people have campaigned for years to get away from any such link with “stupidity” in the way that you are proposing. They are more than tired of being shouted out and treated like morons simply because they cannot hear normally.
Your team is right…. This is a very “dumb” idea and demonstrates a very poor understanding of what it is like to be deaf in our society where people are refused jobs and opportunities on a daily basis simply because so many people wrongly view them as stupid purely because of their hearing loss.
It would also be great way to lose a great many customers!!!!
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Thanks Flower,
I'm an MD of a company that makes a few 'deaf aids' we make them to make profit. Our main product is a fire door retainer that 'listens' for the fire alarm, from that you will no doubt quickly grasp that a spin-off are fire alarm warning devices for deaf or hard of hearing people.
My marketing team, none of whom are deaf, suffer from OAPC (Over Acute Political Correctness), I want to run some punchy visual ads along the lines of "are you deaf stupid?" they are afraid to do so which I find totally bewildering, deaf people of course have no sense of humour! I did a Google search and found you right at the top. Thanks, I can stuff this up there noses tomorrow. Good Luck
I'm an MD of a company that makes a few 'deaf aids' we make them to make profit. Our main product is a fire door retainer that 'listens' for the fire alarm, from that you will no doubt quickly grasp that a spin-off are fire alarm warning devices for deaf or hard of hearing people.
My marketing team, none of whom are deaf, suffer from OAPC (Over Acute Political Correctness), I want to run some punchy visual ads along the lines of "are you deaf stupid?" they are afraid to do so which I find totally bewildering, deaf people of course have no sense of humour! I did a Google search and found you right at the top. Thanks, I can stuff this up there noses tomorrow. Good Luck
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Neil Purssey - 14-Feb-10 21:10
please find me a friend that is deaf please cause i'm deaf .do email me ashley15grillz@gmail.com
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I am deaf person. I am Sumeda Udaya Kumara. I am working as an Administrative Asst at Executive Search Ltd since 2004 may 01 up to date. I am very good worker lot. My email:sumeda.uk@gmail.com My phone: +94 773458669 SMS and Welcome
Thank you very much
Me
Sumeda deaf person
Thank you very much
Me
Sumeda deaf person
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sumeda.uk@gmail.com - 11-Dec-09 07:20
Hello Val, did you mean me or the original poster? If it was me, I'm not young (40's). It's great that you can be so forgiving (I sense you are American and I do love America). I'm deaf in one ear and have had endless pisstaking over the years.
I don't expect any special treatment but like everyone else it would be nice to have basic courtesy from colleagues etc.
There is, rightly, legislation in place that means people who are hearing impaired cannot be discriminated against in the workplace but my experience shows otherwise.
I don't know how hearing impaired you are but I wish you all the best. X
I don't expect any special treatment but like everyone else it would be nice to have basic courtesy from colleagues etc.
There is, rightly, legislation in place that means people who are hearing impaired cannot be discriminated against in the workplace but my experience shows otherwise.
I don't know how hearing impaired you are but I wish you all the best. X
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Howsoonisnow? - 6-Dec-09 03:05
Wow, you are very bitter, you must be young. I'm deaf too. When I was in high school and college I was very bitter, like you, and got angry daily at peoples' ignorance. But as you get older you will chill out about it. The reality is that a very small percentage of people are like us. Most people have no experience what-so-ever with deaf people, thus their ignorance is not really their fault. Most of the people I've met are ignorant but well meaning. You can either be angry about it every day of you life, or you can have a sense of humor about it and relax a little. For a lot of people, you will be the first and maybe only deaf person they ever meet. You won't cure their ignorance by being so bitter, when someone is as angry as you it shows. Just be patient and politely correct them. Why are you sitting back getting angry at people who don't approach you? Assuming it's because you're deaf? That's an extremely selfish assumption. Plenty of hearing people aren't approached, but they don't have their hearing to blame for it. Go approach them! Show them that you are friendly, and forgiving of their mistakes... if you do, the next time they come across a deaf person they will feel more comfortable communicating and will be less ignorant.
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Perhaps it's an english thing but I find (from personal experience) that people with hearing difficulties are still viewed as comedy fodder.
Are people embarrassed? Do they find the notion of hearing loss so uncomfortable that they have to smirk behind their hands when they speak to you? Not sure. What I do know for certain is that they are ignorant, ill mannered sh**s. A woman I worked with punched the back of my chair to get my attention, which of course startled me. When I asked why she did this, she said "well, you can hardly hear can you?". I can hear if people speak clearly and don't mumble everything they say (this woman could win championships for muttering). I made an official complaint to my employers which of course got nowhere. This woman acted as if she was the aggrieved party.
So if by chance you read this, mumbler (and you know who you are), Pi** Off.
Are people embarrassed? Do they find the notion of hearing loss so uncomfortable that they have to smirk behind their hands when they speak to you? Not sure. What I do know for certain is that they are ignorant, ill mannered sh**s. A woman I worked with punched the back of my chair to get my attention, which of course startled me. When I asked why she did this, she said "well, you can hardly hear can you?". I can hear if people speak clearly and don't mumble everything they say (this woman could win championships for muttering). I made an official complaint to my employers which of course got nowhere. This woman acted as if she was the aggrieved party.
So if by chance you read this, mumbler (and you know who you are), Pi** Off.
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Don't worry about it too much. In a couple of years, everyone will be deaf.
It's all these damn mp3 players which have the ability to be deafeningly loud (you'd think they'd safety check these things).
I am one of the few people that doesn't have an mp3 player (I just don't get the point, I can sing when I want to hear music) and whenever I need to talk to family, friends or anyone who owns an iPod they can't hear me because I have a naturally low and quiet voice.
You're probably one of the few people who can 'hear' what I'm saying. Though I don't really get the whole thing with signing. I don't think signing is useful unless they make it more readily available. I don't think it needs to be taught in every school, but perhaps it could be more commonly accessible. Like pig latin or omething-say ike-lay at-thay.
As for people avoiding you though, I'm sorry but that's just human nature. People like the easy route, and if they think it will be harder to socialise with you, then they will avoid if at all possible. The ball's in your court as far as getting people to 'deal' with you. I've spoken too long already, but you sound like an interesting person. Almost normal . . .
I'm joking. Just to be clear, don't hate me, I'm joking. It's my Aussie sense of humour.
It's all these damn mp3 players which have the ability to be deafeningly loud (you'd think they'd safety check these things).
I am one of the few people that doesn't have an mp3 player (I just don't get the point, I can sing when I want to hear music) and whenever I need to talk to family, friends or anyone who owns an iPod they can't hear me because I have a naturally low and quiet voice.
You're probably one of the few people who can 'hear' what I'm saying. Though I don't really get the whole thing with signing. I don't think signing is useful unless they make it more readily available. I don't think it needs to be taught in every school, but perhaps it could be more commonly accessible. Like pig latin or omething-say ike-lay at-thay.
As for people avoiding you though, I'm sorry but that's just human nature. People like the easy route, and if they think it will be harder to socialise with you, then they will avoid if at all possible. The ball's in your court as far as getting people to 'deal' with you. I've spoken too long already, but you sound like an interesting person. Almost normal . . .
I'm joking. Just to be clear, don't hate me, I'm joking. It's my Aussie sense of humour.
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very sad and painful words ..... I really get your feelings. I am a teacher for deaf and blinde from overseas country . I have been searching for subjects to our school magazine when Istumpled on your words. I teach my students English. I think you may find it difficult to deal with all around you but be sure you may be better than some of those who finds it funny to say " What?What?" If they were good they will not say such words. what surprised me alot is your way of writing .. which I dont know if you are born deaf or not? if it's the first then you are a mazing person because our students and many deaf don't have that ability of writing so correctly.
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Overseas teacher - 5-Mar-09 08:18
Your article is so right on. Very appreicated. We are a Deaf family. My daughters, hubby and I. Some people just don't know. So it's up to us to make them aware.
Smiles.
Smiles.
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hahahaha absolutely loved you article and made me realize many things!! Thank you so much!!
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Im profoundly deaf in my left ear with only 50% hearing in the right one,I find it most embarrassing when in conversation with someone that isnt aware of my plight,sometimes I nod my head when in fact I should have shook it.However,I must admit it can come in handy at times especially when my wife is sitting in the passenger seat of the car.Absolute bliss..
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