Husband couldn't resist temptation
I am over him but I thought I'd toss this out there anyway because any feedback at all helps. I was with my partner for three years, two of which we lived at his parents home together and we focused on racing bikes and building a solid best-friend romance. We did not have to pay rent or utilities so we were getting a "free ride". I moved in with him because he would not move out and get an apartment with me. He worked part time and was also in school.
After two years we moved out, got our own apartment and started our life together. At first it was GREAT, but over time (about eight months in) I started to see he was not happy with his life; not happy with part-time work, with school, with the National Guard and he slowly stopped helping out with the bills. Red flags? Yep, but I kept the blinders on.
Eventually, as planned he got into special forces military school (his dream profession), we got married me and we bought him a new Jeep. The plan was for me to move out and be with him in North Carolina after eight months when he was ready for him to come out.
However, less than a week before he is due to leave, he broke up with me and I found out that he has been hanging out with a woman from our gym for the past few months whilst I was out working and paying the bills.
He claims its just a "friendship" but I am no fool. She is his fantasy woman in all ways and I am guessing he could not resist the temptation. Funny thing is that I have his dog and all his left belongings. There are more lose ends here than on a fringe carpet. Its absolutely ludicrous. He has a bad ass new Jeep (his latest toy) and a new love (Lust) interest on his arm (he thinks she is a "pro athlete" - she isn't, but whatever) and his ego is GINORMOUS because he is about to become a Special Forces Soldier, etc, etc.
So, I am guessing that he loved me, thinks he "fell out of love" with me (when did he have time?) and feels this new woman "understands him better" To me this is all crap and he has NO CLUE what he has just lost. It has NOT hit him yet either and it will probably be a year or two before he realizes what he has lost. And all for what? To chase after some "pro athlete" hottie? Arrgh, you live and learn I suppose eh? I would have Taken a bullet for this guy and this is how he treats me!
I guess its more fun to chase shiny new things than rekindle love in a solid loving emotionally stable respecting union. Perhaps he just could not face the overwhelming fears of commitment and follow through. He has no sense of commitment, has never held down a full time job in his life and yet he is in his thirties. Does anyone have any thoughts on all of this?
By: Leigh
Comments from visitors
You don't understand men. It's not commitment or understanding - we are visual creatures and will gravitate towards more beautiful women. If she was hotter than you that pretty much is all you need to know about "why". Just like how women will 'upgrade' for better prospects.
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He denies it and doesn't want me to approach her. He says it's my imagination. She cut off all ties with me and started to act strangely towards me before we left. Shall I approach her?
I don't blame just her I blame him. I've discovered a lot about him lately and none of his nice.
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you are meant to bow down to him. you said 'WE were focusing on racing bikes'... 'WE'? what where you doing outside of the kitchen, woman?
make the man a sandwich, orally relieve him and for the love of god don't complain when he tries his luck with the hot blonde from the gym.
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Murphy Taylor - 23-Mar-10 20:00
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UK, European, South African, Aussie and Kiwi SF troops would be nearing retirement at that age due to the intense demands on their bidies and morale!
He is lying through his teeth about everything you mention.
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From your post it is obvious that you are an American and, presumably he has joined the US 'Special Forces'.
Well, don't be too worked up about that.
If, as you say he has little committment, "has never held down a full time job" and was only a member of the National Guard (what we call the TA) i.e. part time amateur soldier how on earth can he be admitted to "Special Forces" unless of course he is either lying about that as well.
Or, as some of us suspect, your 'Special Forces' will take almost anyone and are therefore not that 'special' at all.
He sounds a complete and utter wimp who is unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality. You are well rid of him.
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Let him ride the bike - 9-Jul-09 14:52
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He's just a loser - 7-May-09 19:17
If not..get it now!!!
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BBC News.... A UK schoolboy sparked an international security alert after he sent an e-mail to the White House, threatening to kill United States President George W Bush.
The 14-year-old pupil at Blake High School in Cannock, Staffordshire sent the threats from a school computer.
He was investigated and interviewed by the Special Branch, after the e-mail was intercepted by the US Central Intelligence Agency.
The teenager, whose name has not been disclosed, was not suspended, but was severely reprimanded by the police and school authorities. A spokesman for Staffordshire County Council said the e-mail was sent in November last year, at the time of the US elections.
'Several involved'
"Several boys were involved in this, but only one was reprimanded by police officers who went to his home," the spokesman said.
The council was in the process of drawing up guidelines for schools on internet security measures, he said.
"We hope to keep incidents like this to a minimum in the future," he added.
The school's head teacher, Heather Bowman, described the incident as "a thoughtless prank".
It proved that, in an electronic age, all communications were traceable and attributable, Mrs Bowman said in a statement.
"The school is well aware of its responsibilities and has good monitoring and security systems in place, which are constantly being updated," she added.
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Marriage Guidance Councillor - 22-Oct-07 21:15
Sian Griffiths
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Sian Griffiths - 7-Sep-07 16:29
Some people view it philosophically and are amazingly understandable about a partner finding their "one", and are prepared to stand aside and move on eventually. Others see it as loathsome betrayal and fling all the mud they can at them. It's for each of us to determine, not for others to judge.
Then again, today we live in a shallow, throwaway society. The tendency has arisen to discard anything that isn't "quite right", and so it is with relationships. Commitment is harder today than ever before, I believe. 40% of new relationships begin in the workplace, and most people in the workplace have partners of one sort or another. Cheating is rife everywhere and at all levels. People (esp young women) dress provocatively to entice. Many people have no values and see married individuals as fair game.
Personally, I try to adopt the philosophical approach. There are attractive people everywhere, that can't be ignored. My partner may see someone she fancies. Me likewise. Thing is, how well do you know the one you're with? Betrayal is devastating, but if it happens then you were not with the right one.
Life is tough, then you die.
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