Ex-wife uses CSA money to pay for holidays

http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/206

just sign this pat!

Hi my names stan I have 2 kids one stephen age 7 and natsha aged 5 live in cheshire mum think that kids are a way off making money and stops me seeing them I payed a lot of money 2 c them and now she had a baby at Christmas with a another lad and he walked away then 2weeks later shes with a another man this man stands at window with no cloths on in the girls bed room been to the police and there won't do anythink it's a good world we live in and now she a soc a again with tax payers money but csawant money 2 keep my kids in that house thanks2 kara lander

Carl, your assuming the child has a better life. My son's mother would rather go out for a night out than provide him with a pair of shoes and this is a basic need for any child.The CSA is there to stop child poverty but when you have no control over what that money is actually spent on you might as well throw your money away.I have always paid for my son and I have provided a home for him as far as I am concerned I have done enough.I do more for my son than her "new boyfriend" does for three of his.

If I got money off any of my kids dads id spend it on myself too! My 13 yr old smokes so I have to buy her cigs already! Kids arnt that expensive until they start smoking and drinking! Yet all 4 dads have fled the country so they dont have to cough up!!

The money you pay goes into her overall 'cash', hence although it may not appear that she is directly using your money on the children, she will be in the grand scheme of things.

Sit down, and work out how much your children cost. Include their housing costs, share of council tax, food daily, clothes, transportation, clubs and leisure pusuits - I think you will find that the amount you pay via the CSA is less than half of what they cost

I pay my ex (through private arrangement) almost as much as my partners ex receives for 2 children, children cost money, and it would be a lot more if they lived with you. Why not just accept you are paying towards a better life for your children, they cant help being here, but you can help your own situation

Demon, I will say to you as I said to Cathy - the CSA is for the upkeep of the children ONLY. Not the house, or anything else - JUST THE CHILDREN. There is plenty of cheap housing and council housing.
Whether or not these women choose to live in a big house is their own doing and by gaining full custody of the children, they are accepting this responsibility. Why should the father pay for a house he doesn't live in?
The main thing is that although there are some occurances where the woman really did believe she would spend the rest of her life with him, in the majority of cases, the woman should have made sure she was on the pill or kept her legs shut.

The judge, you havent a clue how much things cost and that includes housing costs apart from food. If it is your child, other than materialistic things, what have you sacrificed to ensure your child is well brought up?

I am a little concerned here that there seem to be people who assume that all women are idle or leeches. There are also a small handful of men who use the CSA against women. It's not common, in fact quite rare, but it does happen. Also, there are many women who have to use the CSA because of men who refuse to pay so much as a penny towards their kids.

I'll be the first to say I absolutely despise the CSA and the way it allows hateful leeches to completely destroy the lives of those who are willing to pay for their children - my fiancé's ex-wife is one of those hateful leeches - but don't let them make you think that all women are like that. We're not.

As for the judge, there are just as many lazy men as there are lazy women and equally as many hardworking women as there are men. I am a woman and I have worked hard and will continue to work hard for everything I have. Don't use the CSA as a cover to voice your sexism.

Judge, yes you are quite right we do very little. Take me for example, I get up at six to get the kids ready for school, make everyone's breakfast and have a shower etc myself. ( Hubby can lie in of course).

I drive the kids to school, picking up their friends on the way, drive to work for 8.30 and work an 8 hour day before going home to pick the kids up from their friend's house, cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and make their packed lunch for the next day. I have finally got him to at least do the dishes on a weekday.

At weekends I drive the kids to their various activities, clean the house, do the supermarket shop and, in the summer, look after the garden.

Yes, I am an idle so and so, just like all the other women that I know who are just like me.

Undoubtedly this woman is greedy and has little self respect but this was an out of court settlement that had nothing to do with the CSA. He should have made sure he had a clean break consent order when they divorced instead of an open ended maintenance order. Of course he didn't know he would win the lottery.

Most legal experts think that she would have got a lot less if it went to court but he probably thought it worth 2 million to finally make a clean break and be free of her. He still has more than £50,000,000 to "lavish" on his daughter so I doubt she will go without anything.

Sometimes your obsession with the CSA and feminism borders on the unhealthy. Also, you don't seem to understand what "feminist" means.

as per the title of the gripe as long as the kids get what they need it does not matter where the money comes from

Sorry, didn't see your comment there, Fedupdad.

Yes, she will continue to get benefits. My partner's ex is claiming everything she can get her hands on.
They don't take into account our rent, utilities, travel to work costs, when they rob us each month and apparently her benefits don't matter either.
They make me sick.

I'm sorry to hear about your horrid ex, Cathy people like him are the reason that my partner who is willing to pay for his kids are looked down upon and judged unfairly. I think you should be aware though that his payments are supposed to be solely for the children alone, not the upkeep of the house etc.
I'm not sure that there is much you can do about their computer systems as they are notoriously bad for doing such things (I personally think it's just a stupid excuse that the CSA gives for screwing up as they have made countless mistakes in our case too).
As for his partner being your representative, however, I'm very sure that this can be corrected as it is probably on dodgy legal grounds due to conflict of interests.
Try talking to your case officer, or if that is her too, then ask to either to be moved to another case officer or to speak to her supervisor and tell them about that you feel it is unfair that she is dealing with your case. It is possible that she's not supposed to be and that they haven't made the connection between her and your ex yet. If she won't move you or allow you to speak to a supervisor, try contacting the CSA another way or talking to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. Good luck and I hope it gets sorted out for you.

For the past 5 years I have had to deal with the csa after my abusive ex walked out, as my ex husband refused to pay any money whatsoever towards the upkeep of our children, house etc so a deductions of earnings was placed upon his salary. Even though the money is taken monthly from his salary, I can go for up to 5 months without receiving a penny and when I do get payments they are always incorrect and am now terrribly in debt because of this. I have to constantly ring them and try and find out what is happening but am continually informed that it is due to the computer system. I have also the added problem of my ex's partner works for the IT department of the csa and acts as his representative as he continues to appeal the amount he pays. Does anyone know if this is allowed for a person who works for the department to act as his official representative????? He also always seems to know information that I have given to the csa and I am beginning to get quite paranoid about this. However I wonder about the legality of this representation. Any advice please.

Hallo bei mir war trotz ehebruch meine exfraues ,sie nahm die kinder weg mit den damaligen freund und lebte mit ihm zusammen,bekommte ehegaten unterhalt auch,und lebte in luxus mit den freund,und jetzt ändert das gesetz und sagt die kinder haben vorrang, meine frage ist warum sie damals nicht so dachten und gaben die exfrau ehegatenunterhalt,des heist für mich reines ausbäuten der väter damals war die exfrau heute siund die kinbder morgen werden die engelkinder kommen solche blöde gesetzte gibts nur in deutschland,dan hatte sie 3 kinder mit den den freund gemacht, und stellte antrag für die 2 kinder von mir ,damit sie ins heim kommen und ich soll mit denen weiter ärgern wegen beitragskosten,eine ungerechte weg nimmt hier und hilft falsche menschen und vernichtet väter die alles gaben und jetzt leben sie in armut,wegen den ausbeuten,keiner soll sich wundern wen diese väter nicht mehr helfen wen die kinder heiraten und eine familie gründen weil schon vorher in armut gebracht wurden von gesetzte die in deutschland gemacht wurden von menschen die nicht gerechtigkeit können.

my x keeps saying she will go to the csa because she knows she will get more money even with me paying her every week without fail she is just after all she can get out of me, can someone please tell me if she goes to the csa will she continue to get all her social money for claiming to be a single mother?

lol, thanks Been there. Will keep that in mind in future. :D

Kat,
Karlos TJ is a twisted person, not really worth mentioning.Most know his type of comments and ignore him. He soon crawls back to his padded cell. I see that is an old comment you are responding to, so I think its best you let him be.:)

I would like to also comment to remind people such as karlosthejackel not to judge all women by the standards of those who are destroying your lives.

Karlosthejackel - I am sorry for your experiences, but I feel that the following comments you made were uncalled for and nasty:

"You woman really a different race aren't you...." "...Anything you woman do, you always stand by each other just for the sake of it..."

I am a woman and I am disgusted at those money grabbing lazy 'mothers' who don't care for their children. Although they're not even mine, I'm suffering too because my partner is being screwed over by his ex, as described in my previous comment and we can barely afford to live. I can't even begin to describe the hatred I have for her and women like her.

My partner and I can barely afford to pay the bills or for him to get to work while his ex-wife goes on foreign holidays, always has the latest gadgets etc and his kids sit stinking in old dirty clothes, having never had a bath or brushed their hair or teeth anytime recently. It's sickening as we don't mind paying for them, but it is evident that she doesn't use it to take care of them.

The csa used to reassess when our circumstances changed; however, it appears that they have changed the rules.
We recently asked for a reassessment as my partner had been out of work for a few months and could only find a job 60m away. We have to pay so much petrol so he can get there but they refused and told us that rent, travel etc are no longer relevant to the amount they take.
They said we'd just have to find somewhere cheaper to live or move closer to his work. We can't afford to save for a deposit or rent but we can't carry on affording the petrol costs and our bills either and our flat is the cheapest we could find. At this rate, he will have to quit his job but he doesn't want to give it up. It would also mean his kids wouldn't get anything. I have tried looking for new jobs, but there is nothing and my current wage is terrible.
They said they'd take less if we had a kid - we really want to get married and have kids but thanks to them we can't afford it - and if his kids stayed with us a few days a week - we're expected by their mother to drive 150 miles there and back for them, which we also can't afford.
While things like our rent etc are not taken into account when working out how much to take from us, we also discovered that the amount of benefits she receives no longer affects the amount she gets from us.
We have no quality of life - we can't have holidays or eat out etc and constantly lay awake at night with the stress of how to pay the bills. We have both felt suicidal on occasion. This shouldn't be allowed to continue.