Ex-wife uses CSA money to pay for holidays
For the last 8 years I have paid my ex-wife through the CSA for our 2 children. During this time I have struggled every week to pay for every day things such as bills and food, while at the same time my ex-wife has enjoyed a life of luxury. She has spent thousands of pounds on home improvements, holidays abroad and weekends away. All these things are for herself, meanwhile my children have worn clothes that have holes in them or no longer fit.
I asked for a reassessment last year because our children were and had been staying with me for at least two nights per week instead of just one night a week as was the case when I was first assessed.
Because my payments were reduced, my ex-wife threatened court proceedings and stopped me seeing my children citing a supposed 'difficulties with contact' through various letters from her solicitor. During numerous threatening solicitors letters all of which I answered personally, my ex-wife eventually stopped the threat of court proceedings.
Things were to get ugly again though as in March 2007 I asked for a new assessment as my mortgage and council tax payments had increased. Again my payments were reduced and again my ex-wife threatened court proceedings and stopped me from seeing my children. It appears that a minority of mothers are only interested in the financial benefits of having and caring for children.
My advice to fathers paying maintenance through the CSA is this. When mortgage rates, pension contributions and council tax payments increase, ask for a reassessment. The CSA rulings state that if your circumstances change, you are entitled to be re-assessed.
I do not have any problem paying towards my children, but do object to paying for my ex-wife to have a life of luxury at my expense while my children go without.
Comments from visitors
just sign this pat!
Respect our government - 27-Apr-11 18:08
Sit down, and work out how much your children cost. Include their housing costs, share of council tax, food daily, clothes, transportation, clubs and leisure pusuits - I think you will find that the amount you pay via the CSA is less than half of what they cost
I pay my ex (through private arrangement) almost as much as my partners ex receives for 2 children, children cost money, and it would be a lot more if they lived with you. Why not just accept you are paying towards a better life for your children, they cant help being here, but you can help your own situation
Whether or not these women choose to live in a big house is their own doing and by gaining full custody of the children, they are accepting this responsibility. Why should the father pay for a house he doesn't live in?
The main thing is that although there are some occurances where the woman really did believe she would spend the rest of her life with him, in the majority of cases, the woman should have made sure she was on the pill or kept her legs shut.
I'll be the first to say I absolutely despise the CSA and the way it allows hateful leeches to completely destroy the lives of those who are willing to pay for their children - my fiancé's ex-wife is one of those hateful leeches - but don't let them make you think that all women are like that. We're not.
As for the judge, there are just as many lazy men as there are lazy women and equally as many hardworking women as there are men. I am a woman and I have worked hard and will continue to work hard for everything I have. Don't use the CSA as a cover to voice your sexism.
I drive the kids to school, picking up their friends on the way, drive to work for 8.30 and work an 8 hour day before going home to pick the kids up from their friend's house, cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and make their packed lunch for the next day. I have finally got him to at least do the dishes on a weekday.
At weekends I drive the kids to their various activities, clean the house, do the supermarket shop and, in the summer, look after the garden.
Yes, I am an idle so and so, just like all the other women that I know who are just like me.
What a joke some men are - 10-Dec-10 19:15
Most legal experts think that she would have got a lot less if it went to court but he probably thought it worth 2 million to finally make a clean break and be free of her. He still has more than £50,000,000 to "lavish" on his daughter so I doubt she will go without anything.
Sometimes your obsession with the CSA and feminism borders on the unhealthy. Also, you don't seem to understand what "feminist" means.
The Joker, Gotham City - 23-Nov-10 20:36
Yes, she will continue to get benefits. My partner's ex is claiming everything she can get her hands on.
They don't take into account our rent, utilities, travel to work costs, when they rob us each month and apparently her benefits don't matter either.
They make me sick.
I'm not sure that there is much you can do about their computer systems as they are notoriously bad for doing such things (I personally think it's just a stupid excuse that the CSA gives for screwing up as they have made countless mistakes in our case too).
As for his partner being your representative, however, I'm very sure that this can be corrected as it is probably on dodgy legal grounds due to conflict of interests.
Try talking to your case officer, or if that is her too, then ask to either to be moved to another case officer or to speak to her supervisor and tell them about that you feel it is unfair that she is dealing with your case. It is possible that she's not supposed to be and that they haven't made the connection between her and your ex yet. If she won't move you or allow you to speak to a supervisor, try contacting the CSA another way or talking to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. Good luck and I hope it gets sorted out for you.
Theodoridis georgios - 25-Aug-10 22:56
Karlos TJ is a twisted person, not really worth mentioning.Most know his type of comments and ignore him. He soon crawls back to his padded cell. I see that is an old comment you are responding to, so I think its best you let him be.:)
Karlosthejackel - I am sorry for your experiences, but I feel that the following comments you made were uncalled for and nasty:
"You woman really a different race aren't you...." "...Anything you woman do, you always stand by each other just for the sake of it..."
I am a woman and I am disgusted at those money grabbing lazy 'mothers' who don't care for their children. Although they're not even mine, I'm suffering too because my partner is being screwed over by his ex, as described in my previous comment and we can barely afford to live. I can't even begin to describe the hatred I have for her and women like her.
The csa used to reassess when our circumstances changed; however, it appears that they have changed the rules.
We recently asked for a reassessment as my partner had been out of work for a few months and could only find a job 60m away. We have to pay so much petrol so he can get there but they refused and told us that rent, travel etc are no longer relevant to the amount they take.
They said we'd just have to find somewhere cheaper to live or move closer to his work. We can't afford to save for a deposit or rent but we can't carry on affording the petrol costs and our bills either and our flat is the cheapest we could find. At this rate, he will have to quit his job but he doesn't want to give it up. It would also mean his kids wouldn't get anything. I have tried looking for new jobs, but there is nothing and my current wage is terrible.
They said they'd take less if we had a kid - we really want to get married and have kids but thanks to them we can't afford it - and if his kids stayed with us a few days a week - we're expected by their mother to drive 150 miles there and back for them, which we also can't afford.
While things like our rent etc are not taken into account when working out how much to take from us, we also discovered that the amount of benefits she receives no longer affects the amount she gets from us.
We have no quality of life - we can't have holidays or eat out etc and constantly lay awake at night with the stress of how to pay the bills. We have both felt suicidal on occasion. This shouldn't be allowed to continue.





