My dad shouldn't pay maintenance

Karen, once the child in british law has left full time education (schooling) the NRP is not obligated to pay for maintenance. University is not full time education. It is further education, and there are loans and burseries of the like out there to support ones child. This woman Knows as soon as that child steps out of school her "free ride" will vapourize.

We live in Guernsey and whole heartedly believe that the woman takes the mickey when it comes to maintenance. Our case is exactly the same, we pay the childrens mother £800 per month and the children get very little. We have taken them on all their holidays as she always tells them she is broke. She has remarried and therefore effectively having two extra salaries coming in. The mother has pushed for the children to go to university knowing she wont pay, and we expect her to apply to the court for extra so that she can live off of us and so that we pay the university fees. The mother has not contributed a penny towards their upkeep for 10 years, how can she have, the children do not cost that much to bring up. School is free. How can this be right?! Please can someone who knows Guernsey Law advise us if once 18 they are classed as an adult or if the father is obligated to pay if they go on the University, or if the mother SHOULD be paying half. We keep getting told that its not worth fighting??

Fathers get dealt with badly by the justice system, go and live with your father is the best thing you could ever do, then he should have the payments for your maintenance stopped. Women seem to have manipulated the justice system in their favour, its time things changed, speak up fathers!

How refreshing to see someone who actually sees the father's side. Good for you Kirsty!

J88, your dad sounds like a complete waste of space, but not every dad is not there because he doesn't want to be. Some dads aren't told about the child for years, some dads are deliberately kept away from the children, some dads would love to be the parent with care but are not allowed to be because the law by default will decide that a woman is a better parent. These dads get the short end of the stick, but the same society which pities "abandoned mums" does not give a d@mn about abandoned, discarded, excluded dads.

To the CSA staff - I wil take CSA a lot more seriously when they do not automatically assume that the dad is the bad guy, and that the mum is the victim. I used to work for CSA and quit on principle. Unless a lot has changed, it is not taken into consideration what a large % of female PWCs have actually put themselves in this situation deliberately, and either never wanted a father for their children or decided after the children were born that they did not want to be with their partner any more.

CSA do nothing but perpetuate the "deadbeat dad" syndrome, back a morally reprehensible system and make a mess of assessments.

I also think that if NRPs were allowed to pay the money direct to the children you would get more co-operation from those men who, quite justifiably, do not wish someone to profit financially from malicious actions.

Kirsty, my... 'father' (it pains me to call him that, the only thing he is good for is creating children and drinking but hey-ho) has had a maintanance court order on him since I was a baby 19 years ago. My mum had to fight tooth and nail to get any kind of financial support from him as he denied I was even his up until he ended up with egg on his face when the DNA results were given to him in court! I only recieve £17.55 a week from him, which when trying to live as a uni student is pittance, my mum has fully supported me financially (along with my grandparents) for 19 years and brought me up and been there for me. My father has not! It sounds to me that unless your father has looked after you throughout your life and has brought you up for some of it he doesn't deserve to be on the pedestal you put him on as human beings don't survive just on money!

my partner pays monthly for his daughter. which he has no problems with so why is his ex,s wages not taken into account, she earns so much more than him, Grrrr any how it was her who splite the family up by having an affair. also she never lets my man see his daughter who he adores its heart breaking. the law needs to change. men are not always the guilty one but they have no rights especially if the couple are not married.

Good point heatedblanket. It makes me mad when non-resident parents deliberately make attempts to see / have the child (when- by the Parent with Care's own admission- they hadn't wanted to know for years) just so they can claim a reduction for shared care. Do they seriously think the 1/7th off their calculation will be cheaper than the cost of having the child stay overnight with them / taking them to the cinema etc?! I know this isn't the case with you and your father Kirsty, he sounds like a good honest man. If there were more like him then maybe the CSA could be scrapped altogether and parents left to make their own arrangements. I also agree with Edd about the Child Trust fund but the basic idea for maintenance is that it is supposed to be used when the child needs supporting most I.e. before they are 16 or 19 and can fend for themselves so to speak. As for me heatedblanket, I work in Plymouth (SWBU). What about you?

I too work for the CSA (Unfortunately) and I agree with Sarah, it's expensive to keep a child, if your mother is a bad parent then that is unfortunate, but your mother will be paying a lot of money to keep you, which i'm sure you will realise if you ever have Children of your own. PS Sarah which office do you work in.

Once Kirsty goes to university she will no longer be classed as a child so her mother could not claim for child maintenance. I work for the CSA (sadly) so I see this sort of thing every day. Children are only classed as children up until their 19th birthday (providing they stay in non-advanced education I.e. school or college), once they go to university the system can't touch them.
I know everyone seems to be on Kirsty's mum's case but at the end of the day she is providing a roof over her head and probably struggling to make ends meet. Let's face it, we all know how expensive it is bringing up a child and we can't give in to their every need.
I can see why you think it's unfair Kirsty but just grin and bear things at home for now, next year you'll be able to take driving lessons then you can live with you dad or wherever else you choose. Good luck to you

Well mr genetic accountant, seeing as she walks to school, and her dad always pays for basically whatever she wants, I just think that kirsty is proper bangin bud. lmao. but yeh on a serious note I think you are very intelliegent kirsty and mature.

I whole heartidly agree with you. Indeed it should be the other way round. The mum always gets the benfits over the poor dad (treated as mug by the goverment) he pays evertime. Things will change one day and when you have children I'm sure your be an excellant open minded mum who stands on her own 2 feet. You seem very bright for 16 yr old
Good luck Kirsty

"...", you anonymous fool! This kid's father is only paying for music lessons. What about her clothes and food, and travel to school and all the other extra costs of living, which her mother is already providing, silently.

This family/couple hasn't organised their maintenance for children costs properly. I bet they were conned by their solicitor if they had one when they originally separated.