02-September-2010

A biased and unfair system

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It took the CSA nearly twelve years to finally persuade my ex-partner to pay any kind of maintenance towards our children, but this gripe isn't about maintenance or payments. It's about how biased and unfair the system is.

Two weeks ago I grounded my youngest daughter (now aged 14) for not completing her homework assignments and disrespecting her teachers. She contacted my ex-partner who basically told our daughter that she was right to disrespect her teachers because they are all useless idiots (the actual choice of words used were more abusive), and that I am an "authoritarian interfering prat that doesn't understand teenagers." My daughter was also told that she should come and live with them at their house where she could have a new mobile phone. She could use the Internet as long as she likes and other treats such as going to the cinema regularly and lots of new clothes etc.

Well it should come as no surprise that after a vicious tantrum and an argument, my daughter ran away to live at my ex-partner's house. How could she resist that kind of bribery? However not long after she left I received a letter from the CSA saying that as far as the CSA are concerned my daughter now lives with my ex-partner. The notification date was within 12 hours after my daughter going to live there!

I have a full (not shared) residence order and this was granted only after the very careful consideration from the welfare, health services and courts etc. I was assessed questioned and visited at home before the decision was made. This was by no means a quick process.

My ex simply made a phone call to the CSA...

Could the disparity in service and biased interpretation of the rules be because I am a MALE single parent?

By: St Jude

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Angry, on what you have said, go to the CSA, he is an adulterer with children who should be brought to book.

Gainsborough lad. 24-Feb-2010 19:45

That's the trouble with these "kept" women, like "Angry" They just won't get off their asses and go to work to pay the mortgage themselves. It's little wonder he might desert you.

Gosh what a strain it must have been to have "planned" children. What a stigma a child must face in this brave new world of yours of being "unplanned" and "unloved" as a consequence.

I don't want to have to pay for yours or your husband's promiscuity, planned or otherwise. You both should have been sterilised, after two.

I am not paying up for these people 24-Feb-2010 16:51

My soon to be ex-husband had secretly fathered a child 10 years ago (This was during our marriage) The ex-girlfriend/mistress now gets a substantial amount from his salary every month.(15%) I am angered because I have only just found out about this affair/child and the payments. I have asked my husband to leave as the trust has gone. Now because he has moved elsewhere leaving me as the main carer of our 4 planned children, the CSA are increasing the'Mistresses' payments to 25%!! How can this be fair when he is now paying our mortgage on our 'Married' home as well as funding a small property so that our children can visit?? I would welcome any advice.

Desperate.

Angry 24-Feb-2010 11:06

Im sorry, I must be stupid, or neglecting to understand something, but why should you need CSA???? Do you really need that money from your partner, or could you just get a job like most people??? or maybe 2 or 3 jobs, I work 2 jobs and own my own buisness, yet I still find time and money for my family. You'll probably say 'i dont have time and I have kids to look after' but thats just a load of phooey, its simply people being lazy and not working hard for what they want. if life knocks you down, youve gotta brush it off, shut up and carry on, just like all the little boys who fell over had to do

kiyroi 24-Jul-2009 05:17

I am very sorry to hear that. Men OR women who are unfit parents annoy me no end...

My ex abandoned my disabled baby cos she was "too much "hastle""

But they wont want a single penny from HIM.... God forbid they would actually chase someone who does NOTHING for a sick baby even though I am her sole carer...

I think every teenager goes through the whole spoilt brat stage as I know I did and she will apprecaite you later on in life...

LINZ 12-Jan-2009 19:16

csa they don't call It tax .but that's what It really is . just another government con.

csa my ar@e 07-Nov-2008 13:13

I agree with you LEWIS, it costs £2 pounds to reclaim £1 pound or something so may as well scrap the whole thing. It should of been all about the child/ren but instead its just the Government trying to screw everyone out of money.

REAL L IFE 02-Jul-2008 19:13

I think the thiefing CSA should stay out of it and leave it to the parents to sort out. Government debt should be obtained from other sources.

LEWIS 09-Jun-2008 13:04

"sympathetic" get over yourself you idiot, tell this fella to grow up, the world isnt always fair and he should deal with it! rather than blame an agency for his shortcomings!

heatedblanket 29-May-2008 23:41

Does anybody understand why? They're your kids don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

jhrv 18-Apr-2008 02:17

Who is the clow Judas have you any idea how this situation is?

JUSTICE 05-Feb-2008 12:42

heatedblanket, for not being able to understand Stjudas's story, you are the buffoon

Sympathetic. 05-Feb-2008 02:28

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