Young, naive and trusting
02-September-2010
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Young, naive and trusting

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It riles me that all absent fathers are seen as the bad guy when there are always two sides to a story.  My husband’s ex-girlfriend dated him to win a bet she had with her friends, she already had a boyfriend and wanted a baby regardless of what she had to do to get it, such as lying about taking the pill.  These are all facts she later admitted to.

She got pregnant and when the baby was born he was forced to move into a house with her; a house which he worked nights to pay for and he was only 18 at the time.  After a year he left and was refused access to his daughter until a private agreement was made favouring his ex-girlfriend.

Three times he was refused parental responsibility because as far as his ex-girlfriend was concerned the child was hers but when she snapped her fingers he had to go running or she would deny him access.

For 10 years he paid maintenance, bought clothing, gave pocket money and money for school trips; to name but a few of the financial payouts all equating to thousands of pounds without a single argument or complaint. 

Then one day he hurt his back at work, had to give up his job and at the same time found out that I was pregnant.  When he told his ex that he did not have any money she did not even grant him the grace of a week to sort anything out before going to the CSA.

A young couple, not all absent fathers are bad, some were just naive and trusting

He is now branded as a deadbeat absent father because he doesn’t pay maintenance due to staying at home to look after our baby while I work full time to support us.  We would not be able to afford to live if we both worked due to outrageous maintenance payments, child care costs and very little governmental help.

My husband was forced into this situation and has paid for his ex's deceit while she has had an easy ride.  I’d understand it if he had been stupid and had known he was taking a risk but his only crime was to be young, naive and trusting.


Other Related Gripes

Fathers, contact with children and the CSA
Ex won't have the kids overnight
Life as a student and a single mum
Ex lives the life whilst maintenance is cut
Non-resident parents should pay more
Verbal agreement with ex-partner
A biased and unfair system
Absent father makes no effort
Young people are being conned again
My ex-wife won't play fair
Young workers are exploited
The CSA penalise good fathers
Problems with CSA payments
Teenage girls that get pregnant
Men have no right to reproductive choice
Why does she want a divorce?
CSA, guilty until proven innocent
Weekend dad can't be bothered
Single parent, dad doesn't pay maintenance





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Well Nock I am not planning on doing it, nor have I. The only reason why a woman can rape a man is if he's underage. If you can't see that Nock then that's your problem. Rape can be defined as many things but if the woman gave pleasure to the horny little boy then you can't get upset because we all know that 99% of ALL men will do the same thing and they know it.
*Florida Girl  16-Aug-2010 20:57

 
Well Nock I am not planning on doing it, nor have I. The only reason why a woman can rape a man is if he's underage. If you can't see that Nock then that's your problem. Rape can be defined as many things but if the woman gave pleasure to the horny little boy then you can't get upset because we all know that 99% of ALL men will do the same thing and they know it.
*Florida Girl  16-Aug-2010 20:39

 
well this situation is happening to me now and I used protection (condoms are only 99% effective but all I can say is I better not use Trojan again because after last time I must have Spartans down there or something but I digress I still used protection but im being manipulated into it by emotional blackmail and reading most of the comments from the females on this page alone show that what this article says is more common than previously thought I bet Florida Girl has done this or is planning too and http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rape says that rape can also be
an act of plunder, violent seizure, or abuse; despoliation; violation: so in the Florida Woman's meaning yes a woman can rape a man and then emotionally blackmail him without any degradation to their own "pure and wholesome" image. btw she is thinking like an adult unlike you who is thinking like a moronic perpetual child
*NOCK  12-Aug-2010 21:51

 
Florida woman you have got to be one of the dumbest female alive. If fatherhood is so important then why do men leave their children so often? You tried your best to make your husband sound like a victim. "He was raped" yada yada yada. First off, the worse form of rape is when a 30 something year old man has sex with a 7 year old girl behind the bushes. In your man's case, I assume, was only rape cause he was underaged. Nothing violent. Nothing forced. Where was his condom? And about her sons, I doubt she thinks like you so she has nothing to worry about. Meaning you can't trick a man into fatherhood so Im sure she'll teach her son about sex. Unlike you. Oh and "forcing" a man to be a father and raping a girl/woman are NOT the same thing. You're a woman so think like one!!
*Florida Girl  22-Jun-2010 16:58

 
Fatherhood is such an important role, for the child involved most of all, it should NEVER be forced on a man anymore than sex should be forced on a woman. STOP the madness!! It is a violation of a man's basic human rights to FORCE or trick him into being a father. It does no one any good to be that selfish. We ALL, as a society, pay the price for the perpetuation of evil and wrongdoing- don't fool yourself into believing any different.
*Florida Woman  21-Jun-2010 04:41

 
My husband was forced to be a father and has put up with abuse for the past 13 years from the selfish female who raped him for his DNA. She was on Norplant, for those of you who don't know what this is- it is birth control placed under a woman's skin in her upper arm. When she decided she wanted another baby (she was divorced with 2 already) and wanted to be married to him, she went to her doctor and had a medical procedure to have the birth control taken out. She then had unprotected sex with him and left a note on his truck when she got pregnant. He was shocked! They had dated for 3 years and she had the birth control so....how did this happen?! Ever since then, when he did not marry her- she has made his life HELL. She then went on to have another child with a married man who she does not pursue for child support because his wife would find out! TRUE story!! What kind of person does things like this?!! This is WRONG and she will never tell me that she wants the same thing for one of her 4 boys- I certainly don't want this for one of my sons, brother, friends, etc. This has got to be stopped!!
*Florida Woman  21-Jun-2010 04:32

 
lol very funny comments woman trick men to get money-enough said!
im on the pill (complete lie 99% of the time) woman leave school/uni/work and think whats the quickest money maker BABYS spend 0.1% of the csa on the baby and the rest on themselves! its very simple and clever.
*grace  21-Jun-2010 04:28

 
Or how about this. Lets say you were driving and and you look around and there are no cop cars ( because the cop was driving a regular car) and so you decided to speed. Then out of the blue a cop (in his regular car in disguise) pulls you over and gives you a ticket. Would you consider that unfair? Did the cop trick you? Obvisouly if you'd known he/she was there you wouldn't have done it. So should you get off scott free? Should the man who impregnated the woman be free?
*Florida Girl  06-Jun-2010 02:24

 
Well JoJo how is it fair that he gets off free because you claim that she was irresponsible to bring a child into the world? As if he's not responsible

You claim that we pay taxes for these women and at the same time saying the man shouldn't. How redundant.

If the state should pay for the women then stop complaining
*Florida Girl  05-May-2010 20:56

 
This is your and your husbands life, and just as his ex has made her decisions (to irresponsibly bring a child into unfair circumstances and to lie to your husband and take advantage of his good nature) your husband can make his own too, and if he wishes not to work because - due to the appauling 'mother biased' system at present - it would be to the detriment of the woman and child he has chosen to be with. The state will have to help the ex out now and quite rightly so. Perhaps the state has a lot to answer to ? If they made it harder for such unstable women to make such selfish decisions then they wouldn't have to support so many of them. All this bloody political correctness is a joke. Let her be a problem for the state! then perhaps one day the government will have to readress such issues as the cost of single parents, the rest of us (who lets face it are supporting these women through taxes) have to wait until we are financially secure to have kids! How is that fair?! The current system makes it all too easy for such selfish women who more often than not are incapable of looking after themselves let alone a child, indeed are they capable of teaching their own children what it takes to live a good honest and independent life, thus the cycle continue! As with most issues....I blame the government!
*jojo  16-Apr-2010 11:50

 
Being in a similar situation (but more from the start not towards the end) I can certainly see both sides to this argument. No man is entirely blameless in this situation no matter what they say. Young and naive and trusting...I certainly was but it usually takes 2 to create the situation. The area is very grey regarding the ethics of who's fault it is.

In this situation you can't get bogged down about what other people think about you, especially if they have so low morals as to deliberately get pregnant like that.
*Joe  08-Jan-2010 17:44

 
what a load of bollocks....''forced'' the lad was 18 you idiot! big enough an should have been wise enugh to make up his own mind! he made a mistake now hes paying for it. you wernt even on the scene at the time so how dare you judge thia girl?? silly cow
*amy  20-Jul-2009 16:55


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