Kids have no respect for parents

When I was younger I was accused of being an arrogant spoiled brat by my mother's new husband as well. He encouraged her to kick my brother and me out of the house; I was only seventeen and still in high school. Your attitude to these kids is not helping them accept you. In fact, it is causing more strife. You are older (and presumably wiser) than they are, so it is your duty to be the bigger person.

First of all, stop judging them and try to understand their perspectives. This will be difficult. Resist the urge to defend yourself immediately and really listen to what they are saying. Of course, this means that that they should extend the same courtesy to you. Remember, though, you are not their father and acting like you are will cause resentment.

Once you have a better understanding, changes will need to be made. This will include everyone of you.

Finally, remeber that respect is something you have to earn. Anyone that demands respect had better do their best to act respectably. Also, give them the respect they deserve. If you do not feel that they deserve any respect, it is highly likely that they feel the same way about you. It might help to give a little if you want to get a little.

I hope that your family does not end up like mine. I did not see my mother again until her funeral. You still have the chance to spend your life with a wonderful woman and be a part of her kids lives. Things will only get better through understanding and working on all of the relationships.

I would think as adults you all would understand that you can not simply throw yourself into a relationship with someone and expsect their children to understand why you are there. You do not deserve respect when you only treat the mother well and disregard the childs existance and from doing this you are only hurting yourself more. men seem to think that if they can not control the children then the children do not respect them its not that when you try to control a teenager they will rebel and sometimes not in the nicest way but you are the one doing the wrong you have stepped into their lives they have had no say in this and I am pretty sure that most of you say something disrespectful to them at least one time children will never forget the things you do wrong and if you are ever mean to their mother they will hate you honesty you guys need to grow up and understand you are straining their realtionship with their parent. if it was you and it had only been you and your mom for the longest time since your other parent died and then all of a sudden this person comes into your life and stays home for dinner and always wants alone time with you parent wouldnt you feel left out and then if they were ever rude to your parent wouldnt you dislike them because no matter how hard you guys try you will never be their parent you need to work on being friends with them and including them in things with your significant other not treating them how you would treat your chid that is their parents job not yours.

All teenagers can be brats at times. I have remarried and even now 3 years on they have problems accepting my husbands authority as their father ruled by frightening them. I have had to be really tough with them sometimes and have often had to bite my tongue as my partner learns how to be a parent of 3 teenage girls ahving had no experience before. The one rule I live by is that I absolutely insist that who ever was or wasn't right by bedtime there is always apologies on both sides and forgiveness. This makes everyone feel a bit more secure in the family.

my girlfriends son is 18teen and the other one is 22 and they both dont have no respect for there mom at all and that really hurts me and it makes me want to move out we have been togather for three years and about six months was good ive tried to make things work but then I get mad at my I dont even have it in me to call here my girlfriend anymore but listing to here sons and watching the way they treat her I started to treat her bad to now I read the bible every morning and it makes me feel better but I pray to god that I can get a house so I can move out of here and be happy again and be with my kids I will keep praing and asking she doesnt even believe in the lord and that hurts me so please pray for me thank you Doug

The kid seems very very insecure. And it may be true she senses your resentment for her. I for one believe that once you have a kid, your kid comes first; lovers husbands girlfriends all come second. That is why being a parent is not for everyone, and why they say being a parent is the toughest job in the world. Today kids are going haywire because they just dont have emotional security. Just look at the world they are born into. Our world was much better. I think parents should have more respect for their kids. Did you ask this kids permission before courting the mother? Do you see them as equal partners in your relationship with the mother? Did you think them worthy of this courtesy?

Children grow up exactly how their parents treat them. If the children have no respect it is because they been taught to have no respect. It is not so long ago that your relationship would have been frowned on either. As would the idea of a twenty year old man living with his mother. Times have changed but we changed them.

Re: previous comment on spoilt brat, I forgot to mention she has just turned 16 ,I would neevr shout at younger kids .

your best bet is to forget the relationship as they wont give in and they will just cause unhappiness and trouble ,how do I know ?? well same thing happened to Me ,in the end one Massive row where I finally lost it and argued back calling her a spoilt Brat in front of her Mother ended it all, ok maybe it was the wrong tactic and I Miss My ex partner like mad but the relief of not seeing her Brat again (and yes I treated her like My Own kid but it wasnt enough !!! ) is at least some consolation , so ungrateful kids of the present times if they had been kids years ago they would have known what it WAS like to have nothing ,I had My faults as a kid but I was always grateful for what I got and never did anything to someone who was ok with Me ,ah well next partner will have grown up kids I will make sure of that lol, and I know the University of Life will teach the exes spoilt Brat that this world is not hers and she will be knocked down a peg or 2 in life especially when shes in the adult real world .

This is a tough situation, these kids are confused, and they need someone other than their mother or yourself to set them straight on what is acceptable behaviour. Find another family member who can read the riot act, and hopefully their love for their mother will win. They dont want to hurt her, and they are old enough to understand, that she has a right to enjoy happyness. Good luck.

Thank you for doing and artical on this subject, I used it for a school project!

Here is my story. I am a single disabled parent. I have a 15 year old daughter. over the last year she has been skipping school , becoming verbally abusive, threatening physical violence and finally attacking me! I had her arrested for assault and she spent the night in jail. the judge put an order of protection against her not to have any contact with me until the court date. I had been working with the school counselor and teachers to help her as well as trying to get her some outside help as well.she had been getting mixed up with a bad crowd at school,kids who skipped and did drugs,etc.some of the kids were foster kids ,and they informed her on how to use the foster system to her advantage! they told her if she hit me and I had her arrested all she had to do was tell the judge that she would do it again if she went back home.(she had been complaining she did not like living in the country,where there is no public transportation and she could not come and go as she pleased!)the foster system here is obligated to take care of her until she is 25 years of age if she chooses to attend post-secondary education and pay for all of her living expenses as well.she could also live with an approved adult,say one of the parents of the kids she was doing drugs with! because she is a juvenile , she will have no criminal record.i am a good parent. I have never abused my child.because I am disabled, I only work part time and have always been there for my child every day when she came home from school.the foster care worker is aware that she is manipulating the system and there is nothing they can do about it! they are obligated by law to assist the welfare of children!!! I just want to know if there is anyone else out there who has had a similar experience!

Mage you are getting no respect for a post like that. Have you ever heard of Grammar or Punctuation?

Anyway, I think that the point you meant to make was that children will not respect parents who don't show them the same respect.

To be honest with you I think you are totally wrong, children must earn respect of adults. It is not simply given because they must respect their parents, and this is not an excuse to act up if they don't get it.

In doing this, they only prove they don't deserve any respect.