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At no time have I considered it my duty to pay her any spousal maintenance. She gave up nothing when she married me. In fact, she was 28 and had not progressed in any sort of career – she worked in a travel agency. She is fit and healthy and at 46 could easily do a full time job, but chooses not to. She has equity of about £90k in the house plus savings and I have nothing saved as I pay it all to her already.
Recently I wanted to formalise the money side of things with my ex because I’ve met a new partner and we’ve bought a house together. I would like to pay my daughter her share of the child maintenance directly to her when she starts university and the same for my son when he reaches 18. Remember I’m still paying £1000 a month, though it is becoming difficult now that I’ve got a new mortgage and other outgoings. My salary is not huge and relies to a great extent upon bonuses earned by me and not guaranteed.
The judge at the county court decided to my horror and utter disbelief that I should reduce the amount of child maintenance I give for the children, give it to my ex wife instead and add another wad on top. When I asked how long this would be for, his answer was that it would be for life! So, the situation if I go along with this is that I will now work my whole life and she will be able to sit on her backside and treat her new boyfriend to a good time on MY MONEY! The injustice of it burns, but even more galling is the fact that the judge (who went to the wrong city at the start of the day delaying the proceedings – what sort of confidence does that instil in you?) took absolutely no account of my expenses/mortgage/bills, and my right to a decent life as well.
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