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Why does my wife want a divorce?

I am a 49-year-old male.  I have been married for 8 years, but now all of a sudden my wife has announced that does not want to married to me any longer and wants a divorce.

She went to an attorney who naturally told her that she has no grounds for divorce as things stood.  She then had the great idea that we could create them by selling the house, separating for a year and then getting a divorce.  I don't believe in that crap and have absolutely no intention of giving her the gun, ammo and aiming it at my own head!

Of course she doesn't see it that way.  She has been distancing herself from me for some time buy she denies this and has been generally treating me like don't even matter.

She has no grounds for a divorce. This was all very sudden and quite baffling.  I don't think there is some one else but then again... what do I know?  I never thought that our marriage would end like this.  I am a patient man but I am losing my patience.

So many women wish they had a man that would be home every night, listen to them and be willing to do what may be necessary to make the marriage work.  This whole thing has made me so angry and I don't know what to do.  None of her friends can understand her logic.  A 40 something woman with a good man that now wants to be single - In THIS society?

By: Angry at it all

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I’m sorry to tell you this, but your wife has already gone. If her heart has gone, then there is no point having her around in body only. And Yes! There is another partner waiting to take your place, but she will NEVER admit that to you. No one leave a good relationship for singleness, they only leaver if they see the prospect of a better relationship. What you need to do is read the Amazon Kindle book called ‘Emotional Healing Haiku’ You need to read the chapter called ‘Betrayal’ and she needs to read ‘Jealous Passion’. Good luck…

-5

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nathan289 - 23-Mar-11 09:35 

If she wants the divorce, although it is upsetting, you should give her it. Whether or not the reasons are clear, she obviously isn't happy in the marraige and by refusing to give her a divorce, things could get nasty when they don't have to be.

Divorce doesn't have to be a war, my fiancé and his second wife just weren't right for each other and wanted different things so they divorced amicably and we are still friends with her and her new husband now. There were no court battles, because they were on good terms, they were able to decide between them what they wanted and as a result, both are now much happier people.

+7

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Kat - 16-Dec-10 22:07 

This is exactly, what my wife has done to me, but when I refused to issue her religious divorce, abused me with violence, and her brothers started giving death threats, knocked me down (ran the car over me). At the end, I had to leave the house and now running from one place to another. But, still I love her and still hope one day, she will realize, how much I cared for her.
I am completely broke and about to loose my job.

-8

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Sohail - 1-Oct-10 16:43 

'A woman is like a rose, treat her well, she'll bloom. If not, she'll wilt or wither.'

-6

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m - 28-Sep-10 14:21 

sorry to read these coments im married 24 years in the last 10 I have stood and looked in my marriage I am also unhappy he has retired I still work I have no freedom he critized me going swiming I get up at 6.30am for early morning swim I reply its my time I get upearly.if igo round to my moms say I will be an hour come back 3 hrours later I get moaned at hav'nt done his dinner go to neigbours hse for coffee come back moaned at I am always on time curfu.i have not been out on a girls night out for years went for ameal with a friend twice in 6 years. if I want to go out the reply is if you want to lead a single life you know where the door is. now I say give me 5years as my son has just started uni so I dont want the upset for my son.while he is studying medical so now I get im using him, I would to know what you think as males are not the only ones hurting

-9

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m charlie - 25-Sep-10 23:01 

I am also in this situation, married for 18 years and together for 24 years. one day she decide she is no longer happy and wanted a divorce. She said she didn't feel loved anymore. I was the one who cooked, cleaned, did laundry and all yard work, Also went back to school during that time along with working fulltime. I feel I couldnt have did much more. Still Love her and miss her but she has a new boyfriend after leaving me 6 months prior. Divorce is final and she has falling in love with new guy. She says it is great and exciting, isnt everything new great and exciting.
ex new car, new house, new toys, new relationship. To give up 24 years and 2 children together is crazy. House would have been paid off, no debts, sex life was good and no fighting.
Still trying to figure it out, our friends all think she is crazy.
Oh well I just need to get to a place where I can move on, get over the divorce and her.
I am a great guy with lots to offer and not bad looking to boot. probably a 7 out of 10

+8

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farley - 27-Aug-10 21:34 

My wife wants her independence and wants a divorce. Fine,but she says I have to sell our family home our children are 15 and 13, the kids want to live with me as their mother just sits by her computer on Facebook all day and night. Before then it was Friends Reunited, before that she always said she was ill for 8 years. She has never worked. Can I keep the house without selling until the children leave full time education? Can I make her leave the house?

+2

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William - 14-Jul-10 09:30 

I am in a similar situation. My wife suddenly told me she wanted me to leave in February. Then in March wrote me a nasty letter. After getitng my family stuff out of danger, I contacted an attorney. SHe wrote to my wife. My wife then got an attorney. She waited and filed for divorce and had me served with the papers on my birthday - nice touch!

She's acting like it's all my fault. She lies to me all the time and it's all pretty horrible. As far as I can see, there is no actual ground for divorce. In order to make grounds, she's kinda-sorta moving out and staying with her sister.

I am still baffled as to her reasons. She says she doesn't want to meet or speak to me again after the divorce. Quite honestly, I'm pretty sur ethat there's a mental issue at work. I don't think I want to know a psycho either. All very puzzling and I hope it will all become clearer later.

+2

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baffled - 2-Jun-10 05:13 

I want divorce woman because I wanna marriage with woman

khurram.aali@hotmail.com

+923343154133 / +923228200833

+3

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Khurram Ali - 29-Mar-10 15:43 

I am a 40 year old father of two married for 15 years. I wish I could say they were all great ones but they have not been . I first should tell you that I love my wife more than my own being, I would give my last dying breath for her and our kids. Lately we have grown distant not on my behalf, but on hers.I went to give her a kiss one morning and she shunned away and said she doesn't love me anymore and wants a divorce, I don't I want to go see a marriage counselor but I am having a terrible time trying to get her to commit to going . I should tell you she suffers from depression from 3 ectopic pregnancies , she lost both fallopian tubes the only way to get pregnant would be invitro. I am terrified of this I could have managed a 3rd child but what if we ended up with multiple births from it or worse yet what if she ends up dead this time. The ectopics occured from the use of a birth control called Mirena IUD, she had no problems prior to it's use. She even worked for an OBGYN no one knew of the problems women would suffer from it. it has put so much strain on our relationship that I think I am going to lose the love of my life over it....... someone please help me !

+8

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a lost husband - 22-Mar-10 17:52 

I know how you feel. My husband hates me too, for some reason I dont know. I found out that he has had a girlfriend for years.. Now all I do is cry. He treats me like dirt now. I know how you feel. I am giving him a divorce. I will not fight it and I don't wont him anymore snice he has been with her... good luck to you

+8

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unloved - 23-Feb-10 03:42 

I am in a similar situation after 28 plus years, and while it makes no sense to me, I do know that that I am half to blame in some way or another. I will never understand her reason and know that we must try to stop trying too, as in my case it takes me to dark places that I do not care to visit

+8

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swimmer - 20-Jan-10 03:06 

Why would you want to stay with someone who does not want to be with you?
That's the real question!
Life is too short!
There are 6 billion people on the planet surely you can find a woman who will love and appreciate you.

+5

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Dashing Darné - 4-Jan-10 21:33 

She is obviously on the look out for someone else. You are just too nice to realise that she just wants out. I hope you find contentment but if she doesn't want you and is making excuses to distant herself from you then sadly it is over. Let her go - and find someone who really deserves you. Society does suck at the moment at the moment - it's very easy for people to stray.

-9

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2bornot - 13-Nov-09 13:41 

no effence but you sound so dull and boring!!!!!! a healthy marriage requires both people to have some time away from each other aswell as valued time together! you suffocated her, she got bored and naturally wants to start living and breathing

-7

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p---ed off - 25-Oct-09 16:17 

She has no excitement in her life. Marriage for 8 years to a man that comes home every night and is nice, boring.

+7

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Frellie - 24-Sep-09 10:58 

Maybe there was something that set here of for a divorce
Maybe she is unhappy whit her life .Faraway from family , stuck in the dead end job , no children ...To many sacrifices ....She want her freedom back ...
Or maybe there is no LOVE anymore.

-5

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Vic - 5-Aug-09 17:46 

we been married for 17 years. we have two beautifull children 15 and 13 years. my wife want divorce. I dont want to divorce her. I love her to death. im so depresed. I had mild heart attac. dont know what to do. im keep beggin her but no luck.

-3

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alfie - 6-Jul-09 00:27 

Why don't you just ask her straight out if there's another man? What have you got to lose at this point? If she says yes, there's someone else, then guess what, YOU can divorce HER.

-5

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Onlooker - 17-Feb-09 11:58 

AJ

Sorry to hear of your plight. Unfortunetely your situation is all too common.

If you want him out of your life and also protect your right to a fair distribution of your common assets then see a solicitor as soon as possible to begin divorce proceedings.

Do not think that everything can be settled amicably by an informal aggreement between the two of you because, at some point in the proceedings it is highly likely that matters will turn nasty and by then it may bee too late.

+8

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Manx Hound - 2-Feb-09 09:54 

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