Why does she want a divorce?
16-March-2010
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Why does she want a divorce?

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I am a 49-year-old male.  I have been married for 8 years, but now all of a sudden my wife has announced that does not want to married to me any longer and wants a divorce.

She has no grounds for a divorce.

She went to an attorney who naturally told her that she has no grounds for divorce as things stood.  She then had the great idea that we could create them by selling the house, separating for a year and then getting a divorce.  I don't believe in that crap and have absolutely no intention of giving her the gun, ammo and aiming it at my own head!

Of course she doesn't see it that way.  She has been distancing herself from me for some time buy she denies this and has been generally treating me like don't even matter.

This was all very sudden and quite baffling.  I don't think there is some one else but then again... what do I know?  I never thought that our marriage would end like this.  I am a patient man but I am losing my patience.

So many women wish they had a man that would be home every night, listen to them and be willing to do what may be necessary to make the marriage work.  This whole thing has made me so angry and I don't know what to do.  None of her friends can understand her logic.  A 40 something woman with a good man that now wants to be single - In THIS society?

By: Angry at it all


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I know how you feel. My husband hates me too, for some reason I dont know. I found out that he has had a girlfriend for years.. Now all I do is cry. He treats me like dirt now. I know how you feel. I am giving him a divorce. I will not fight it and I don't wont him anymore snice he has been with her... good luck to you
*unloved  23-Feb-2010 03:42

 
I am in a similar situation after 28 plus years, and while it makes no sense to me, I do know that that I am half to blame in some way or another. I will never understand her reason and know that we must try to stop trying too, as in my case it takes me to dark places that I do not care to visit
*swimmer  20-Jan-2010 03:06

 
Why would you want to stay with someone who does not want to be with you?
That's the real question!
Life is too short!
There are 6 billion people on the planet surely you can find a woman who will love and appreciate you.
*Dashing Darné  04-Jan-2010 21:33

 
She is obviously on the look out for someone else. You are just too nice to realise that she just wants out. I hope you find contentment but if she doesn't want you and is making excuses to distant herself from you then sadly it is over. Let her go - and find someone who really deserves you. Society does suck at the moment at the moment - it's very easy for people to stray.
*2bornot  13-Nov-2009 13:41

 
no effence but you sound so dull and boring!!!!!! a healthy marriage requires both people to have some time away from each other aswell as valued time together! you suffocated her, she got bored and naturally wants to start living and breathing
*p---ed off  25-Oct-2009 16:17

 
She has no excitement in her life. Marriage for 8 years to a man that comes home every night and is nice, boring.
*Frellie  24-Sep-2009 10:58

 
Maybe there was something that set here of for a divorce
Maybe she is unhappy whit her life .Faraway from family , stuck in the dead end job , no children ...To many sacrifices ....She want her freedom back ...
Or maybe there is no LOVE anymore.
*Vic  05-Aug-2009 17:46

 
we been married for 17 years. we have two beautifull children 15 and 13 years. my wife want divorce. I dont want to divorce her. I love her to death. im so depresed. I had mild heart attac. dont know what to do. im keep beggin her but no luck.
*alfie  06-Jul-2009 00:27

 
Why don't you just ask her straight out if there's another man? What have you got to lose at this point? If she says yes, there's someone else, then guess what, YOU can divorce HER.
*Onlooker  17-Feb-2009 11:58

 
AJ

Sorry to hear of your plight. Unfortunetely your situation is all too common.

If you want him out of your life and also protect your right to a fair distribution of your common assets then see a solicitor as soon as possible to begin divorce proceedings.

Do not think that everything can be settled amicably by an informal aggreement between the two of you because, at some point in the proceedings it is highly likely that matters will turn nasty and by then it may bee too late.
*Manx Hound  02-Feb-2009 09:54

 
Hi just to let you know I am going through something very similar, I am a 41 year old woman, been married for 20 years, have 2 children 16 and13, and my husband told me, he doesn't love me, or find me attractive any more, and that we got married too young,(we were 21) and at 41 we still have time to do something with our lives!!!!!, he dropped this bombshell on me 4 days after we got back from our summer holiday last year. it then took him 3 months to move out. and put the house up for sale.which as we know now is not a time to be selling. I am really hurt, I cant afford a mortgage when we sell as I only work part time, but I dont want to stay in this house anymore.He at the moment is covering the mortgage and I am paying the bills.
Not sure what my next step is-- do I go to a solicitor and start divorce procedings, or just go for legal seperation.
*AJ  01-Feb-2009 19:32

 
I'm sorry for you, but, from experience (trust me on this one...), you shouldn't dismiss there's something else going on, she may well be having an affair. And, as earth-shaking as it may seem, you should give her that space. For your own sake - build up on your personal goals, enroll a gym, invest in some hobby, excell at your job, travel, enjoy your friends and family - you name it. If, and that's a big if, she realizes you don't need her to be happy - you chose to be happy with her, that's a whole different thing, and you can cope with her distance, and you value yourself - hey, apparently she's the one loosing a great person!, you'll see that she might become aware of her mistake, or, if you do separate for good, you'll be in much safer grounds.´
Best wishes
*MikeT  20-Jan-2009 15:47


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