CSA, guilty until proven innocent
12-May-2008
*
* Your Gripe Gripe List Quick Gripe Comments Gripe Poll About Us Site Map Resources Home *
*   *
 

CSA, guilty until proven innocent

Bookmarking, Google, Yahoo, MSN, Digg, Delicious, Redit, Furl and many more Add To Any >> 
Feedburner Subscribe to feed >> 
Other Related Gripes >> 
Email To A Friend >> 

 
 

Does that sound like you?  I’m a hard working person that comes from a hard working family.  I decided to head off into the big wide world of life, meeting new people on my way.  I met a girl and had a 'thing' with her for a few weeks.  She sadly dumped me, telling me she wanted to see other people.  Yet she would still get drunk and knock on my door late at night.

She got pregnant, and pointed the finger at a guy she was sleeping with.  I moved on with my life, not giving it a second thought...  Then one year later a brown envelope came through my door.  It said that I was a non-resident parent and I had to fill out a few forms about my financial situation.  I went to seek legal help, and they said I had to do it.  I shouted from the rooftops that this kid wasn’t mine, but I have to come up with £200 for a DNA test.  I can only just pay my bills and if proved I am the father, I have to pay 15% of my income after tax.

A father with his baby, The CSA, Guilty until proven innocent.

How can people sleep at night knowing that men are being treated in this fashion, like a walking wallet?  Kids would never starve or be mistreated if we didn’t pay.  The government would help them.  So why are they playing on the heartstrings of the population?  In my situation I am being taxed for something I had no intention of bringing into this world.  She had a choice, and if she were honest from day one, things might have worked out differently.  We could have talked about it, and weighed up the options.

I don’t sleep; I lost a woman I love.  All because of the stress and torment this situation is providing.  I’m refusing to pay because I am in essence being held at an immoral gunpoint.  In retrospect yes there is a child, yes it could be mine and yes it has a life and has a right to have a father.  But I never wanted a child at this point in my life, she did.  For being immoral this woman now has an easy life.  Bring up a kid on the social, come up with excuses so she never has to work and there she will be.  No questions asked.

Why are we letting society go in this direction?  We are after all British, we have won wars and many other countries model themselves on us! Isn’t it about time to get rid of this unfair system, which must surely be against human rights?  I’m pretty sure that there are a lot of guys out there that really love kids and wont be able to relate to me.  But I’ll say to the others, your not alone guys!

To the mothers that are pointing fingers and thinking that you can get a free trip in life – Watch out, because the tables will turn!

By: thefox01


Other Related Gripes

Ex-wife knows how to play the CSA
Still guilty according to the CSA
Women who trick men into parenthood
Verbal agreement with ex-partner
Ex-wife uses CSA money for herself
My dad shouldn't pay maintenance
Young, naive and trusting
My ex-wife won't play fair
The CSA penalise good fathers
Problems with CSA payments
Some judges are incompetent
Teenage girls that get pregnant
Men have no right to reproductive choice
There’s no point working
Motorcycle for sale child on the way
Weekend dad can't be bothered
My children live with their dad
Parents with unruly children
Single parent, dad doesn't pay maintenance
School run parents with their 4x4
Women who don't get a round in




Sponsored Links


Visitor Comments

Please read this before you post

Enter your comments in the space below

Name or nickname


Remember my name



 
Its shocking. The woman gets the kid and you have to pay for it and you don't get a say in the up bringing. I pay my ex directly, if she went to the csa I would have no option but to quit my job because of how much it would cost me. I am already struggling as it is, small flat, rubbish furniture, rubbish car and usually a week after I get paid i've not got 2 pennys to rub together. Shes struggling as well supposedly, struggling in a new bought house, working less hours than me in a lesser paid job, going on holidays ( which I cant afford) and out every other weekend partying. One positive thing I get out it though is I get to see my kid at the weekend as long as the new inlaws don't want to take him out.
*Gor  01-May-2008 18:50

 
Fair poin but why should fathers feel inferior. History has proved as humans we seem to take time with resolving prejudice issues. Usually a government trate of delaying any problem while profits can still be had.
*justice  28-Apr-2008 21:58

 
I understand blokes that have been trapped into being an unknowning father ( eg I'm on the pill, I can't have babies, I'm allergic to condoms etc) I'm married and it happened to my husband 13 years ago. She was 40, said she was on the pill, but really she was desperate for a baby . Didn't tell my husband that bit! It's history now, the child was adopted by her partner we guess she's happy. BUT she should never of done it. She falsely led a man to believe she was using contraception, and then expected him to be a father to a child he didn't want to have. IT IS WRONG. It is the oldest trick in the book!
My husband and I have 2 children, we love them to bits and have been together for 12 years.
There are some nice girls out there. Be careful and wear a condom, unless you want a baby!
*jhrv  18-Apr-2008 01:38

 
Since when was morals part of being a woman. I love my children have fought through the courts to gain access she is on benefits so gets legal aid, I have to pay as I work. Got my access though, she was angry big time. CSA what a joke was paying maintenance £400 a month through standing order to sons bank account until their invovlement. They say I have to pay through them.Direct Debit set up to CSA and I stop standing order. Then inform a month later they can't collect the payments due to "computer error". Offered me no alternative means of payment and 12months later want to take me to court for not paying maintenace, also want 52% of my weekly wage and now can't afford to see my children. Life is great!
*the fighter  17-Apr-2008 22:08

 
Justice, well said there.. Im sick of this bad feminism attitude that has hit the UK. Real feminism is about being equal 50-50.. but there seems to be this core of women that have the ear of politicians that seem to hit the men that become fathers by deceit..
How do you deceive a man to be come a father I hear you ask? well if your asking that question.. you haven't got a clue what men like me are going through.. You talk of nice guys and how much you girls want to bag one.. they don't exist because you sisters are too busy trapping them for money... and don't be naive in thinking there not.

Im not here to prove to you people that what I want with my life is what I want.. Im not here to do that.. Im calling out that there is a growing number of men that have no say in something that will effect not just there life but countless others at the same time. all because a woman wants a child and didn't even attempt to protect her self.. I wore a condom.. but apprently it wasn't enough.. she told me she was on the pill.. apprently telling me isn't a form of contraception.. one night stand qualifies me to be a father?? I don't think so.. if I was with her for a few months/years.. then I would have stuck with her the best I could.. but I never found out the kid was mine for a long time.. and the whole thing was through the CSA.

Im not a dad people Im a wallet. And a lot of you feel thats what I should be.. But I disagree, I am a donor.. and thats all I will be.. she made the decision to have a child and not once was asked my feelings and thoughts.. why should I pay for a child? Love to see the table turn on women where men get the kids and they have to pay... oh wait.. who is the highest Child support dodgers?? Women.

Im not here to change all your minds.. but I am here to put a story out there... not all men want to be fathers.. They want to chose to be and the decision respected just like women seem to do.
*thefox01  17-Apr-2008 21:07

 
Men cant even produce kids the idea is obscure. One day the tables will be turned and its good to see alot of men are not putting up with the women getting bigger men gettin thinner society.
*Justice  17-Apr-2008 12:13

 
laughing hysterically at 'the father bravely took a sidestep' more like HE COWARDLY SHIRKED HIS RESPONSIBILITIES,sounds to me like the mother here wants the father to be involved if she takes the child to his place of work,just because the father here decided he doesn't want to be involved in his childs life (which I personallly find disgusting) doesn't make him any less financially responsible for his offspring,why should others have to pay for his child just because he doesn't want it?
*baffled  16-Apr-2008 19:17

 
The mother is taking over the responsibilty and she surely should have to pay for the child as anyone else involved in activley supporting as they get the enjoyment and rewards. The rewards are not for free and must be piad for by the right people the one that love and care. the father dosent get the love & enjoyment out of all this and bravely took a side step... Im really baffled to why the csa got involved in the first place.
*even more baffled  14-Apr-2008 13:20

 
Ellie just wondering how you know what your boyfriend's childs mother spends her maintenance on? and I don't understand how you think that because she is married and has another child on the way that your boyfriends child might now cost less to look after?
*baffled  13-Apr-2008 15:16

 
She is getting help raising my boyfriends son by her husband and she has another child on the way. she spends all her money {well the money my boyfriend pays through csa} on her self and gets everyone else to buy the child things. She also bring the child into were me and my boyfriends work and rubs his face in it. Even though he made his decision not to have any contact I know thats horrible and unfair to the child but its his choice not mine.
*Ellie  11-Apr-2008 20:28

 
does my boyfriends payments to the csa lower if the mother is pregant and married he has no contact with the child.
*ellie  11-Apr-2008 20:15

 
I have one child with an ex my fault we split I admit, I had problems after leaving the army, after the birth I started to pull myself together got a well paid job and paid it all into her account so she could use what she wanted, she returned it all and told me she did not need my money, strange how when I got run over and broke my leg in 2 places and had to claim sick benefit for a time she all of a sudden did need my money and took £5 out of my £66 pound a week ,then she started working for the csa in the main office in Hastings which deals with the sensitive cases, my payments have never been less then 33% of my wages £79+ atleast which is strange as I only take home £259 I fight and will continue to till I hit the grave my child is mine and I would pay till he was eighteen if only it was a fare amount
*not ashamed andy sharman  04-Apr-2008 21:19


View more comments on this gripe


 
*   *
* © 2000-2008 The Weekly Gripe. All rights reserved. Please see our privacy policy and disclaimer. *