Management jargon and phrases

I was with you all the way on this - right up until you said 'Go learn' What ????

Speak plain English is best at all times - all the fancy phrases come from business school, and often refer to references in well known books and papers. People usually do it because (1) they think it will impress colleagues or (2) they have poor vocab (3) they are unable to be precise about what they really want. I recall one guy saying to me "I want to reach out to you." to which I replied "you must have long arms living in Austrailia". In other words he wanted to communicate with me but wasn't sure how, when or where. Next time some idiot requests you to do something in Jargonese just say "I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request." ....means "No".

The thing to do is to have a competition with a colleague. Whilst in the same meeting, each has to make a note of any ridiculous sayings that are used. Afterwards compare notes and the one who has heard/noted down the most wins!

If you decide to award a prize then a little thinking outside the box may be required.

um...........what?

Here in Australia, we like getting a heads up before going forward in order to sing from the same song sheet at the end of day.

My take on this - Corporate communication has to be 'effectively precise'. But does it have to be mundane & blunt? What's wrong with some play with words?

my bosses use the idiotic phrase corporate culture.what they really mean is whatever retrograde union busting idea they manage to wring out of management fascist magazines

In my pinion, people who use such phrases have a poor vocabulary and think that by injecting such prile statements into a conversation they appear to be more inelligent than they are.
However, for me, their pseudo - inellectual, affected babble just proves how stupid they are; just by using such phrases.
Other words and phrases that annoy me are :(a) the over use of "absolutely", Whatever happened to just plain YES, or Exactly, definately.certainly, precisely?
(b) "At this moment in time" (police speak) why not: at present, presently, or at this moment
(c) "These ones" I can hear my English Teacher revolving in his grave at this, He would say that you cannot have those words together because One is singular and these is plural (or words to that effect)
(d) "Two times" why not Twice?

I will not bore you with the umpteen other examples of Americanised or just plan bad English that are used regularly by so called "educated people" especially TV announcers, commentators, and Management personell.

It will have been brought to your attention that a fundamental and far-reaching restructuring is currently at this point in time under way.

Basically this concerns each and every employee and it is important that we all understand the new game plan and are seen to be singing from the same hymn book, in order to reinforce our global vision as a quality driven organisation.

It is essential that we run this by each and every single one of you in order that nobody should feel that they are out of the loop at any point in time, and I myself, as managing director, in terms of my remit, will make a point of touching base with you individually within the foreseeable future. In terms of timescale, whilst it is not at this stage possible to quantify a precise time lapse, as a ball park figure, you can expect these meetings to be on the agenda within the upcoming month.

We have undertaken an in-depth gap analysis, in keeping with our strategy as a result-driven client focused global player, on our business model, from which we have highlighted number of items which have been benchmarked to carry us on a fast track to a win-win situation. In terms of our best practice, we need to revisit our vision of employee empowerment to ensure a strategic fit which will, whilst we grow our business, ensure total commitment to value added service levels and a leverage towards an unprecedented bottom line in which you as shareholders will all participate.

A paradigm shift is envisaged whereby our mindset becomes focussed upon our knowledge base and the enhancement that this will bring to our global vision through best use of available bandwidth.

By thinking proactively outside the box we can develop synergies which will allow us to mature to global leadership in our industry. Reflected in our mission statement, our enactment of this vision of the future will be the dynamo that at the end of the day drives us forward into the 21st. century.

I agree with Robbi all this hype is unnecessary - it makes them appear clever but basically they are insecure. I have the opposite problem when dealing with housing departments, associations etc. I often wonder about the education they receive as they have no idea whatsoever how to compose a letter, often forget to send the enclosures they refer to and condescendingly state please call me if you have a problem. They appear to have letter guidelines and anything outside the standard letter leaves them completely flummoxed. The only help I would like to give these people is my basic standard education on how to compose a letter effectively in plain English. I wonder what criteria one needs to become a "housing officer" - not a lot judging from the letters I receive, this is just a fancy title given to a trainee with no experience of dealing with the public, writing letters and no commonsense!! Westminster Council take note!

I have never understood the saying *Walk the talk"....sounds like a bit of nonesence to me !

This site offer typical comments of a opinionated person with little management experience, little in the way to offer an employer in education and spend to much thinking about negatives then positives or maybe you just have too much time on your hands. It's very simple, if management talk riddles simply correct them by repeating back to them in plain english what they mean't. It's as simple as that! If you had real experience in management you would understand that management are not always right, they're simply their to guide a body of people, work the team towards a common goal. Some people like you, simple don't get it... your all working for a common goal why fight it not everyone is perfect and just because your a leader doesn't change that. Goodluck hope you find what your looking for.

Whilst many of these phrases are indeed cringeworthy, to say the least, they generally provide a pretty clear analogy. The problem as I see it is they are created by smart consultants and managers who may use them cleverly and sparingly but then are subsequently adopted by not so smart consulants and the rest of the management world who flog them to death. I have come across a couple of crackers this week. "We've all got war stories but lets stay focussed on the future." and "It's not like we're trying to boil the ocean here."!!However, were they not used you would spend far longer in meetings and "workshops" whilst your manager waffles away trying to explain at length what he or she means (if they even know). Interesting to see the two sides of the debate though. On one side those who clearly use this type of language, defending their position. On the other side the good honest, hard working, salt of the earth who is probably currently in the smoking gazebo telling another bunch of bitter minions who will never amount to anything how he would run things differently. Anyway, things could be a lot worse, you think management jargon is bad, check the response below from David the Yank (no no - it is actually "y"ank). If you were really unfortunate you could sit next to him at work, if he had a job. Sorry David but you are asking for it with your sad attempt to impress us with you psuedo intelligent rhetoric. And sort your grammar out pal before you start using fancy words. The plural of "boss" is "bosses", not "boss's", ya numpty.