My children live with their dad

my horriblehusband seemstothink that even though I paid for this house I have no right to any settlement because the sly git only put the deeds in his name, please tell me he is wrong

I so understand the sitution iam going though it at the moment the social services put my children with there dad and said they will halp towards getting them back for me, and have closed the case and the kids are still with there dad I dont have them back and really want them back I miss them so so much. I have just had another child as well and my other children say things like why cant we live with you but this baby can it so upsets me..... I would like to try getting my children back and am trying to look on net on how to go about it thats how I came across this page im worried if I do try get them back they will say the children are settled etc I would be greatful if any1 could give me some advice on how to go about things? email me if you can kerryjbird@hotmail.com

I just wanted to write that this is what I am going though at the moment my children live with there dad and I want them back I have just had another child that lives with me I really would like to know how to go about getting them back..

I totally understand:) am in the same boat. Its toughest decision ever.. Not a day goes by where I don't miss them.. However they r doing well and I do seem them more than most mothers see their children.

Yes I cannot agree more. I have always been a totally devoted mother. I left my husband 8 years ago due to his fraud against me for £3.5million and his subsequent imprisonment, and alcholism and womanising. Last year I tried to emmigrate to Florida with my children and without boring you with all the details, after a court hearing to relocate that lasted 11months, and was adjorned for a further 6 months, the judge gave him interim residency whilst I went to Florida to try to sell the house I had bought in Florida. I wasnt allowed to take the children out of the counrty with me as he had said I was a flight risk, although the judge accepted that I was not. He withheld all contact whilst I was there, and on my return he refused to give the children back to me and launched a custody battle. I ahve always been a devoted mother and have NEVER done anything untoward. he has a crimal record and lives with a horrid woman who tries to fight me (yes can you believe it) when I go to collect my children.

Simply on the basis that by then the children had been with him for 11 months and had been put into new schools, and were resettled (as the social worker called it), the judge would not returmn them to me full time. I ahve encountered and conitnue to encounter judgements from people and have lost a lot of supposed friends, and every day is hell for the children and me. My thoughts are with all mothers who are devoted and without their children as it is hell on earth and a daily torture for me without my babies.

I left my ex with my two children, he was violent to me and when I mentioned leaving he said that he would burn the house down with children in it before I took control of "his" children. Through fear I left ans saw them as often as he would let me. that was over 15 years ago now and my two children are so close to me still it's unreal.
I am an educated person and my ex a very intelligent man but that does not make him a nice person. however, I never slagged him off to them and never told them about the abuse, but as they grew older they saw him for the man he was and now my daughter sees him out of duty and my son has seen him just twice in 8 years. They made these judgements themselves as I knew they would. I always tried to reasure them I left their father not them and it was to keep dad happy I left, and therefore if he was happy their lives would be more relaxed.
People do not always know the reasons behind your moving out but if I can give you or anyone in your position any advise it would be not to dis your ex to the children.. guide them on how to deal with your ex's traits so they are able to form a relationship on their terms not yours.
Children grow into adults with lives of their own and how you behave has a direct impact on them as adults.
Good luck and remember the years go by so fast !

To 'Trying Mother'. Nobody can tell you everything will be ok, but if you maintain regular contact with your children, by letter and phone calls and visit them during holidays, they will know that you love them. I can't imagine how it must feel for your children to be moving so far away, but it is not your choice and the children will always understand this.

All through history, relationships have broken down and children are caught up in it. You have said they are happy and stable, so this is what you have to keep telling yourself. The children will love you just the same. You will miss them with all your heart but do maintain contact and stop blaming yourself because it is out of your hands. You are obviously a good mother and a caring lady.

I have a son of 24 who is very disabled, and a daughter of 27. When my son was 5 and my daughter 8, I too left my marriage and my children with their father. Although my children stayed with me every weekend, when my son was 17, I was no longer able to lift him as he has quadrapleagic cerebral palsy so is unable to walk at all. I was then unable to take him overnight. This has torn me apart as now, when he is ill and in hospital, his father does not let me know. I still feel extreme guilt, so much so that it has almost given me a breakdown. It is purely guilt that we feel because as mothers, the world expects us to be the ones who continue to bring up the children when a marriage breaks down.

I know my situation is different to yours but please do what is best for the children. If they are happy and you see them regularly, then when they grow up, they will understand. Let them live and be happy and put your feelings to the side. I know it is very hard but the children will appreciate it.

If you ever want to post me, please feel free because I fully understand how you are feeling and how it can take over all the thoughts you have. Don't try and over compensate by being your childs friend, just be their mother when they are with you, as that is the most important thing for your sanity and their well being. Unfortunately we have to live with our decisions and sometimes this can mean the guilt remains with us for life. Because of it, some people will judge because it is human nature, but those who care for you will understand and support you if you let them.

It doesn't matter what the outside world thinks of you. It can happen to anyone at anytime for a variety of reasons. Other people are quick to judge without knowing or caring what has happened, so don't feel you have to justify your actions to people who are not important to you.

who the hell cares where your little terds live, least its not where I live, so thatI dont have to look at there ugly faces

TO CHICKLY:
Please think of your children first. If it is a choice between your children being sad and you being sad, which do you think you should pick? You're asking them to leave everything they have ever known. I have worked with many situations like this, I can tell you in my experience in NEVER works out well unless the parent moving lets the children stay in their environment and supports them very positively and makes every effort to see them on a regular basis, hopefully every other weekend. They will love you more and you will be being a true "Mother". God Bless You!

stand in your truth

"stop moaning......we men have to"

The men here never stop moaning !!! It should be renamed the hourly male moan fest.

Now you all know how MILLIONS of men feel......welcome to the daddy club !!!!! Women.....What a race of complete f**k ups !!!.....Oh and by the way, THERE IS NO GOD you stupid moronic female excuses for parents....Im so glad that your exs have your kids..... Balances the scales somewhat wouldnt you agree.....stop moaning......we men have to !!!!!